intertribal: (Default)
Strange things are afoot in Big 12 football.  At the end of the season, Kansas coach Mark Mangino was fired for abusing his players (one was made to do a bear-crawl until his hands bled, then a bunch of other (black) players said they'd been threatened with being sent home to get shot with their "homies").  Now, Texas Tech coach Mike Leach has been suspended from coaching Tech in the Alamo Bowl for putting a player who said he had a concussion in a closet as punishment for "faking" the concussion.  It is craziness.  It's also worth noting that Leach had been one of Mangino's big defenders: "The mean man told some player something he didn’t want to hear... Well, there’s a mean man in Lubbock that tells people stuff they don’t want to hear, too, and that’s just part of it.”

And it gets weirder.  The player who made the accusation, Adam James, is the son of ESPN announcer Craig James - who had been scheduled to call the Alamo Bowl.  He has been removed from that post, but Craig James has been calling Texas Tech games all year.  Said a user on Life In The Red: "his broadcast of the Tech-NU game was not close to being balanced. He made it sound like the NU D gave up 60 to tech, when in fact it was the least yards a Leach team had ever gained, and one TD was scored by the Tech D!" 

Yeah, see, this is why I'm glad I discovered sports blogs.  Not only have I discovered that I am not crazy to hate Brett Favre and Tim Tebow - and, Christ, that many other people, even Americans, hated the ridiculously bombastic coverage of the 2009 US Open - but they give me an alternative to the corrupt machine that is ESPN and its cohorts.  Because seriously, FUCK that shit.  This is why I watch Awful Announcing.

As a side note, I actually like Texas Tech (more than the other three Texas teams in the Big 12, anyway) - I like how Mike Leach is all "arrr I'm a pirate" and the team runs into the stadium in Lubbock led by this chick in a Zorro costume, I mean, it's awesome, you know.  Mike Leach clearly talks too much and has a really short fuse when it comes to his players (he's said that his players were wrong to listen to their "fat little girlfriends", he banned the players from having Twitter pages when one player tweeted that Leach was late to a team meeting because Twitter is just for "narcissists" anyway) - times like that that I'm happy our coach does not talk to the media at all, and mostly just goes batshit psycho on referees.  Still, I have always preferred blunt coaches to smarmy ones.  And God knows what all is going on in this story, but the whole Craig James angle makes it less straightforward.

But: I'm not one of those people who thinks that college football coaches should be able to do whatever they want to their players (if certain NFL coaches would grow a bit more of a spine, however, I would not object).  I'm never going to be all, oh those boys just need to toughen up, society's gotten too soft.  Because that just creeps me out, to be frank.  It's one thing to be blunt.  But if being blunt means you make it obvious that you're a sadist, you still suck. 
intertribal: (the guilty have no pride)
I am totally indifferent toward all the Big Ten schools, but I really appreciate their pure and innocent recruiting commercial (especially Joe Pa):
Yeah right.  We all know you actually use strippers and hookers and other "people like that."  Like duh - recruits "don’t want to go to a college where they ain’t pretty"!   Except if you're Patrick Witt.  Then you go to Yale.
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We did our best. The refs pulled a deus ex machina on this one.

Sorry, TCU. Sorry, Cincinnati.

It's on you, 'Bama. Destroy, destroy, destroy.
intertribal: (boom boom pow)
Someone just posted this description of Lincoln in the Husker fan blog, Life in the Red:
A drinking town with a football problem...

wow

Dec. 3rd, 2009 11:46 am
intertribal: (high fashion domo)
I just realized that Golden Tate is not, in fact, a cute little nickname that fawning television commentators gave to Notre Dame's wide receiver (akin to The Golden Domers, ya know), but is, in fact, his real name. GOLDEN TATE.

I may have actually thought Golden Tate referred to Tate Forcier on a really good day. I mean, he is blonde. People were comparing him to Jeff Garcia and Doug Flutie before the epic meltdown.
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My uncle* just got us tickets to the K. State-Nebraska game tomorrow! Winner takes the North Division and plays Texas for the Big 12 Championship!

BRING IT ON, BITCHES!!!

*: who is a K-State fan
intertribal: (professional)

Nebraska 27, Missouri 12.  At the end of the third quarter, it was Nebraska 0, Missouri 12.  Yes, 20 points in about 3 minutes, then another 7 in the last minute to top it off.  It ain't over till it's over, bitches!

So can we call it a truce, Mizzou?  Some of you fans seem to be ok (I'm still undecided on the players...).  We can join you hating on Kansas, and you can stop accusing our players of spitting on your players/ throwing beer cans on our players/ etc.? 

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming: I've been out with a killer cold (NOT swine flu!) this week and actually took 2 days off work.  I hope to start submitting again this weekend though!  Other than that I've been studying for the GRE and trying to break up with a guy (see title, again).  That's going... sloppily.  Hopefully progress will be made on all fronts over the weekend.  Play all four quarters, baby.
intertribal: (professional)
I hate "Boomer Sooner."

Our high school speech coach actually took it and turned it into a song to sing about opposing teams: "Overrated, mediocre.  Mediocre, overrated.  Overrated, mediocre.  (Team's name), kiss our butts!" 

Really repetitive, right?  That's because "Boomer Sooner" is the most repetitive, un-musical song in existence.  It's one of two songs that the Oklahoma band plays during football games (the other being the much nicer "Oklahoma!" [where the wind comes sweeping down the plains]), and by far the more frequent.  So they use it as a celebration song, as a rallying-the-troops song, as a cheering-the-other-team's-mistakes song, as a disrupting-the-other-team's-momentum song, as a waiting-for-the-timeout-to-end song, and you end up hearing it like 100 TIMES in one game.  After Oklahoma makes a good play.  BOOMER SOONER!  After Oklahoma makes a bad play.  BOOMER SOONER!  While teams are in a time-out.  BOOMER SOONER!  After Oklahoma loses: BOOMER FUCKING SOONER.*  I have actually refused to watch Oklahoma play because of "Boomer Sooner."

Seriously, imagine listening to that 100 TIMES.  Every time Oklahoma plays.  Every year.  I have probably heard it like 1,000,000 times in my entire life.  Talk about an incentive to use a nail gun. 

* Florida State has a similar issue with their "Seminole War Chant."  It's less annoying musically, but it's ridiculously racist.  People actually do a "tomahawk chop" motion to it.  Yeah.
intertribal: (un-busy)
Bo Pelini said after the win on Saturday (55-0, thank you very much): "We've made progress but we're nowhere near where I believe we need to be. We're in the right galaxy now. Last year we were a few solar systems away."

Dear Coach,

I think what you mean is "We're in the right solar system now. Last year we were a few galaxies away." You see, galaxies contain solar systems, not the other way around. Earlier this year you made another astronomical metaphor that actually made more sense: "Now we just have instead of maybe two galaxies, maybe one galaxy. We might be in the same solar system now."  It's totally awesome that you like to make astronomical metaphors though, so keep it up!

Go Big Red!
Nadia
intertribal: (here comes trouble)
I love Kissing Suzy Kolber.  What follows is all theirs (and true - except for Brett Favre having a goat head):


"Anyway, it seems like only yesterday we were still talking about the woman who was traveling to Minneapolis with a live purple- and gold-painted goat with the number 4 shaved into its sides tied down in her trunk, with the apparent intent to sacrifice it near Brett Favre’s preseason debut on Friday.

"However, as we all know, the goat was saved by fortuitous car trouble and the altruistic mechanics at Tires Plus in Winona, Minnesota — a tough blow for the subset of society that believes in a Chicago Cubs-like curse on the Vikings and also enjoys a good goat sacrifice.  Moreover, the would-be blood offering to the football gods has been named Brett and is now living in Packers country, at the very same Favre-lovin’ farm that chose to make a Brett Favre corn maze last year instead of planting crops. (Native Americans call it “maize”) — it’s a small world when everyone’s insane about the same washed-up, self-centered quarterback.  We can only guess that Brett the Goat will live happily on the farm for several months before he un-retires and ends up tied down in another car’s trunk.  The first step to curing addiction is admitting you have a problem.

"As we sift through the untidy aftermath of news stories dedicated to A FREAKING GOAT TIED UP IN A TRUNK JUST BECAUSE IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH FAVRE, perhaps the greatest development in this was MyFox New York’s decision to segue this story into a sport that dates back to 13th century Afghanistan.  Because it involves goats, you see:

Goats also play a major role in Afghanistan’s national sport — Buzkashi. Translated into English, Buzkashi means “goat grabbing” or “goat killing.”"

intertribal: (Default)
14:05
This is cool!!
Carla L, SU

13:39
u know what is secret of federer win most granslams
arumugam d, MY

16:30
Hi Rafa, we miss you too much, the tournament definitly miss your flavour, come back soon but healthy to complete the season by US open no less, and bye bye Federer__GOOD LUCK ANDY MURRAY
Ehab R, EG

08:37
Those who keep posting messages regarding Nadal or keep repeating this tourney is boring, should not take up the Fan Log space. Nadal already give up his defense for this title, he's avoiding lossing records due to the mild injury. There's no need to curse other remaining players, especially Federer. It's just showing how bias you guys are and how your mind are closed and not wide opened !!
hendri f, ID
{my thoughts exactly}

14:50
Fed is the one who always has luck! RAFA will always be the MASTER of this amazing sport! He wins or not, he is the same.
larisa, RO

15:18
"Fed is the one who always has luck!"__LOL__
Cillian F, SW

17:52
The two Andys will meet in the semis and as always, the BIGGER country will prevail. Hahaha!!
Philip S, HK

18:09
god screaming azarenka u're pissin everyone off..btw u a boy or what its ok it happens...sorana carstea still the best
coD A, RO

14:11
Why stop at penalizing players for grunting from exertion I think they should also penalize those who sweat excessively and then the ones with pimples. And don't even start me on those who get their shoes all dirty on clay, those deserve to be banned outright.
Vlad P, AU

07:52
Common miss Wozniaki. You can win the tournament:. Your so pretty
Johan V, NL

17:40
LLeyton &&& Your blood's worth bottling!__GO LLeyton GO.
Laurie J, AU

16:45
come on serena...................................... dear
angel j, IN

17:06
Hey Andy Roddick Roddick Roddick flown into Omaha many times on my way to Clarinda Iowa where your great American War Time Band Leader Glenn Miller was born and I know those folks back there will be routing for you just like many Americans. As for me. GO GO GO ANDY... ALL THE WAY !! LOVE YOU TO BITS...THANKS FOR THE FABULOUS TENNIS AND FABULOUS ATTITUDE TO THE GAME AND FANS
PATRICIA E, UK

10:49
Can all the commentators please stop whining and complaining about everything. Especially tired of Carillo. We need something a bit more fresh, the same stuff; all the talking and judging is annoyingly painful year after year.
Ryan F, US

19:39
Whomever is doing the commentary on ESPN Murray /Troicki match needs to know how ridiculous they sound when they said the Queen is busy with her teas. It's like saying Obama is having coffee klatches. Maybe busy running a country would be better. And I doubt it would have been said if it was King instead of Queen. Shame on you.
s.l. m, US

14:42
I was wondering if Brad Gilbert's air time is limited because he has to abbreviate all the players names: Federe is fed, delpo for delpotro, etc. and the same goes for Mary Carillo. Its very annoying to hear an announcer butcher the athlete's names.
A. H, US
 
16:23
Sorry Ivo, winning with one shot doesn't make you a genius. It makes you 6'10''.
Dustin, US

19:24
darling Marat my darling you will__always be one of the greatest tennis player!!____hope you change ypur mind and come back__we miss you so much
lola m, GR

19:32
Please help! Who is the man wearing a cowboy hat who is always in the players' relative box, no matter who is playing__Thanks in anticipation & just to put my mind at rest!
lynne s, UK

16:02
Can some one help me I wonder who the person is sitting next to Tony Roche, the coach of Lleyton Hewitt. The man who looks like a cowboy.
Christian d, NL
16:45
Can you tell us how you get the pigeons out of centre court is one gets trapped in
Ricky T, UK

18:07
RIP Michael Jackson
Jim A, HK

11:41
heyya i luv tennis well kinda bt go people winn whooop :P lol
leanna m, UK

11:54
i love this game
erwin s, ID
intertribal: (peace and quiet)
Venus Williams
has the perfect haiku name
unlike Serena
by Phil A, UK on Wimbledon.org

If you listen close
throughout the streets of Harlem
grunting can be heard.
by Ian, US on Wimbledon.org

Dulko collapses.
I'll love her for an hour
We will both move on.
by Phil L, UK on Wimbledon.org

I like Roger's vest
Anna Wintour likes it too
let Serena eat.
— by Mdpoplin on Twitter

The five-time champ
everything is OK
other than his vest
— by Kdmytk on Twitter

intertribal: (and if i only could)
I ♥ this video. Can you tell I'm in tennis withdrawal?


I just submitted my first story of the summer.  On the deadline.  Don't laugh.  It's been a hard start to the rest of my life.  The good news is, I've started using my "real" gmail address instead of my temporary Barnard address.

And my commencement pictures just came.  Not looking at those.
intertribal: (Default)
Roger Federer won the French Open!  Yay!   He beat Robin Soderling, the man who knocked off reigning clay court champion and Federer's biggest nemesis Rafael Nadal, 6-1, 7-6, 6-4.  The weather was bad and a psycho guy ran onto court and "attacked" Federer, but Federer handily reached the "tennis pantheon."  He's now tied for most Grand Slam wins (with nasty ol' Pete Sampras) - 14 - and has won every Grand Slam (5 times at Wimbledon, 5 times at the US Open, 3 times at the Australian).  Now everybody's like "greatest player ever?" and "maybe he can get 15!" and of course he can.  Duh.  He didn't always play his best tennis at this tournament but he has a champion's experience and managed to "dig deeper" than ever to will himself into the finals.  Like Jim Courier put it: "He came back in matches in this tournament, was able to tough it out after what seemed like his darkest hours."


So we are all very happy here, having been huge fans of the Fed since the early 2000s.  But this time we were not alone in rooting for him.  Here's to the best tennis player of my lifetime, anyway.
 
because I can only summarize sports with pictures? )
intertribal: (haute tension)

In November, the tennis-starved citizenry of Santiago, Chile, showed up expecting to watch a benign hour of net showmanship featuring Hingis, the No. 1-ranked player in women's tennis, and Kournikova, reputedly the most downloaded pinup in any realm. Players call these quick-cash exhibitions "hit-and-giggle shows." So why was Kournikova weeping?

A close call had gone against Hingis. She appealed to Kournikova, this being a friendly match. Kournikova agreed with the line judge. During the next changeover, Hingis was reportedly livid. "Do you think you are the queen?" she seethed. "Because I am the queen!"

- Riot Girls

intertribal: (cernunnos)
Since it's the French Open Finals this weekend, I present to you my first uncomprehensive guide to tennis champions.  This one is devoted to tennis champions in love - arguably the most pathetic piece of tennis analysis possible, but you know, what can I say, I'm a girl.  And no matter what anybody tells you, tennis is all about human interest stories.  Future uncomprehensive guides might include traumatic family histories, "injuries," and the insanity of the French (and if I'm discussing Justine Henin, all three!).  Depends on what I'll feel like.

I. Andre Agassi + Steffi Graf = ♥ ♥ ♥.  My earliest tennis memory was watching Andre Agassi and Pete Sampras on tv with my mom.  We were in Indonesia.  I was very small.  I asked my mother who she was rooting for, and she said she liked Agassi more than Sampras.  Being the impressionable kid I was, I turned this one remark into lifelong support for cow-eyed Andre Agassi, and lifelong hatred for Pete Sampras and his gross lolling tongue.  Just like being a Husker fan formed my fundamental opinions about football, being an Agassi fan formed my fundamental opinions about tennis - that serve and volley is more exciting than power tennis, and that a good flexible return can and will outlast any narrow-minded onslaught of aces.  In my defense, Sampras grew up into a Republican married to a soap actress named Bridget, and Agassi grew up into a Democrat married to my first favorite female tennis player, Steffi Graf.  For those not in the know, Steffi is undisputably one of the best female tennis players in history (and perhaps the best).  When I first started watching the grand slams and rooting for these two, I - and the rest of the tennis world - had no idea they would end up together.  I mean, it certainly didn't seem likely.

    
Wimbledon, 1992                                                      Wimbledon, 2009
 
Andre was the wildchild of tennis, the one who refused to play in Wimbledon because he refused to wear all-white.  He dated Barbra Streisand and married Brooke Shields, and while he was making tennis exciting for young audiences (including my mother), the establishment found him annoying.  Steffi was the introverted princess of the court, tall and austere and very private.  The most dramatic thing to happen to her was externally-imposed, when a psycho stalker of hers stabbed Monica Seles during one of their matches.  Andre finally decided to wear all-white and play Wimbledon for the first time in 1992.  He won the championship.  On the women's side, so did Steffi.  It was their first meeting - Andre had a crush on Steffi, but Steffi thought Andre was just another psycho on account of his wild-eyed look and long hair.  Nothing came out of that champions' dance.  Years later (1999) they both won the French Open, both coming up from behind. That time Andre was more zen, with much less hair. He'd divorced Brooke Shields, and had been making it clear to Steffi - by asking to practice with her, etc. - that he was still interested.  After that champions' dance, they started dating. 

They're now retired philanthropists who live in Vegas with their two adorable little blonde children, Jaden-Gil and Jaz (and a shitload of money).  The whole family is basically the cutest thing ever, they get invited to present trophies at Grand Slams, and commentators want the kids to grow up so they can start destroying everyone else on the court.  In other words, everybody loves them, and they love everybody. Life is good.

II.  Roger Federer + Mirka Vavrinec = ♥ ♥ ♥.  While not as fortuitous as Andre and Steffi, Roger and Mirka are still a power tennis couple and on account of still being on tour, are my new obsession.  Federer is my favorite active player and one thing I really like about the guy is Mirka.  I've recently come to the conclusion that male tennis stars either marry other tennis players (Andre) or aspiring model/actresses (Sampras).  Andy Roddick, Tommy Haas, and Lleyton Hewitt (who threw away a perfectly awesome tennis player, Kim Clijsters, and therefore deserves his shitty results) followed Sampras' model.  They all suck, btw.  Andy Roddick in particular needs to get put out of his misery.  Federer, on the other hand followed Andre's model.  Mirka is no longer an active tennis player because of a nagging foot injury, but she was one of those many Eastern European little girls who Martina Navratilova gave a racket to, and she met Federer when they were both on the 2000 Swiss Olympic team.  They've been together ever since - yes, 9 years, and by together I mean inseparable.  This year Mirka became pregnant, and they got married in a little civil ceremony in his hometown, Basel. 


Cute as a fucking button.

It's remarkable how happy Federer is when he talks about her.  And no wonder - he says that Mirka has provided a calm center to his life, and has been there for him throughout his massive ups and downs.  To quote someone on the internet, these two are definitely at home with each other (enough that Mirka's his manager!).  You can tell how Federer is doing in a match by watching Mirka's expression - she's still there courtside at every match, even though the baby's due in September.  As Federer says, "She loves tennis and she doesn't pull me away from tennis, she actually pushes me to it which is fantastic."  And that is why tennis/tennis couples work better than tennis/model couples.  They understand and love each other's priorities.  Now if Federer can just win some tournaments, that would be great.  Okay, R-Fed?  1 more match for the French!  And for god's sake, don't make the missus too tense this time!
intertribal: (crashing his head against the locker)
The studios hate the Oscars for a different reason than I do, yet I understand their plight...

It wasn’t so much about admiration for the picture itself, though there was plenty of that. Insiders read the snub more as a rejection by the academy, once comfortably regarded as an adjunct of the industry that created it, of what the inner circle does best: Build complex, monumental films that move millions.

But the academy gave no points for popularity. And the company folks noticed.

As little as a year ago, the prestige that came with an Oscar contender could seem worth at least a small financial loss to studios that could always make up for it with their summer hits.

In tougher times, not so.

Maybe we should just split the annual "film awards".  We can have one batch devoted to popular box-office hits, rewarding the especially stellar and accomplished among them.  Media darlings and people who are famous for doing nothing can present.  Fireworks and acrobats on stage, possibly animatronic elephants.  Then we can have another batch devoted to movies that are actually good; not good-hearted, but well-made and well-acted and well-written even if no one sees them, with very little fanfare and no red carpet and no mush, for God's sake, no mush. 

And if there must be awards given to feel-good movies that are not actually good in a merit sort of way, but aren't box-office smash-ups either, then they can have their own separate shindig.  The Yay! Awards, or some such thing.  Maybe the Academy can take over there, since they consider themselves the guardians of mass morality.  They need to let go of the whole "artistic achievement" thing, though, cuz that is something they just don't do. 

Carpetbagger (the NYTimes film awards moron) describes the Oscars as "a ceremony that can feel oddly reassuring in the face of difficult economic times."  Yeah.  Definitely the Yay! Awards.

---

A sad HAHAHAHA to the idea that Pete Carroll is a "specialist" at the University of Southern California, $4,415,714 salary aside.  Specialist at what?  Being a dick-face? 

The idea of him teaching class reminds me of American Lit (Differentiated!) in tenth grade, which was taught by one of the football coaches.  He was kind of a sad, stern guy.  Never let the class sidetrack him into discussions about the team.  He would just chuckle, all dark and grim like we're atheists in foxholes, and say, "Now, guys.  What about Huckleberry Finn."  Looked somewhat like Major West of 28 Days Later.  He had a dogmatic approach to most of the books and was impatient with getting these points - which were above the heads of most of the students, but below mine (not to be too cocky about it, ha ha) - across when most of the class was like, "Catherine [of A Farewell to Arms] is like a Cadillac - she's easy".  He liked me, though, gave me an A on everything and kept all my papers (even the horrendous Catch-22 in-class paper I wrote where my thesis was something like, Yossarian is a liberal - seriously, goes down in my memory as the worst thing I ever wrote).  I feel like he was fond of The Grapes of Wrath - he seemed down with listening to Rage Against the Machine's "The Ghost of Tom Joad."  So I guess it can be done.

Still.  It's hard to imagine Pete Carroll teaching English. 

---

Paul Wolfowitz is a raving lunatic and a piece of shit.  "The reason the terrorists are successful in Indonesia is because the Suharto regime fell and the methods that were used to suppress them are gone."  Can somebody staple his mouth shut, please? 

Seriously, Wolfowitz, DIAF. 
intertribal: (Default)
I had this dream last night where I was four months pregnant (by an unnamed Pittsburgh Steeler, at that) and freaking out, so my mother "strongly encouraged" me to get a late-term abortion... which I did.  I'm pretty sure I've interpreted it to satisfaction.  It's not as disturbing as it sounds, except for the Pittsburgh Steeler part.  I hate the Steelers.

Then I had a dream about inducting my father into some hall of fame for the dead and getting into a bitchslapping fight with one of his younger sisters about who had the right to talk about him.  That one I'm having more trouble interpreting.  But I'm feeling strangely about everything lately.  Sort of like Starbuck after she comes back from the dead.  If you haven't seen "The Ties That Bind", then nevermind. 

Anyway.  As crazy and psycho as I am right now, I think I'm actually starting to see some semblance of clarity.  Some light at the end of the tunnel.  I'll write more about it at some hypothetical future-point, when I have "time".  And no, I won't quit school.  It wouldn't be Ganzian.  Speaking of whom, I was looking through Tim Griffin's Big 12 updates for the past month and guess who's at the top of his "big 12 bowl observations".  THAT'S RIGHT, BITCH.  Despite the factual error in there (concussion =/= bum shoulder), Tim Griffin is the man. 

the pigskin review )
intertribal: (Default)

I found this picture courtesy of Tom Brady Secrets
I highly recommend Tom Brady Secrets (even if you don't hate Tom Brady).
 
Well, the Cardinals (not the Eagles) and the Steelers (not the Ravens) are headed to the Super Bowl.  That means neither of the teams I rooted for won their conference championships today.  I'm happy with the way the Eagles battled back in the third quarter, but I think the Cardinals wanted it more - that, and the Eagles don't have a good record in NFC championship games.  It'll be interesting to see if the Cinderella Cardinals can take it all the way to the big shiny crystal. 

Blame the announcers for this plot bunny, but I came up with another Song for the Quarterback, this time to the tune of "Home on the Range":

home on the field )
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