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Roger Federer won the French Open! Yay! He beat Robin Soderling, the man who knocked off reigning clay court champion and Federer's biggest nemesis Rafael Nadal, 6-1, 7-6, 6-4. The weather was bad and a psycho guy ran onto court and "attacked" Federer, but Federer handily reached the "tennis pantheon." He's now tied for most Grand Slam wins (with nasty ol' Pete Sampras) - 14 - and has won every Grand Slam (5 times at Wimbledon, 5 times at the US Open, 3 times at the Australian). Now everybody's like "greatest player ever?" and "maybe he can get 15!" and of course he can. Duh. He didn't always play his best tennis at this tournament but he has a champion's experience and managed to "dig deeper" than ever to will himself into the finals. Like Jim Courier put it: "He came back in matches in this tournament, was able to tough it out after what seemed like his darkest hours."

So we are all very happy here, having been huge fans of the Fed since the early 2000s. But this time we were not alone in rooting for him. Here's to the best tennis player of my lifetime, anyway.

Federer reacts after winning championship point.

Jimmy Jump, a "professional jumper" from Barcelona, jumped out of the crowd, waved a flag at Federer, and tried to put a beret on him.
Apparently he seeks to make the "whole world laugh with his funny and great performances." He is now in jail.
Tournament security seriously dropped the ball: It's all shits and giggles until we remember that Monica Seles was stabbed during a match.

Robin Soderling, the runner-up: "You really gave me a lesson in how to play tennis."
He'd never even made it to the second week of a Grand Slam before, so no heartbreak here: he was just happy to be in the final.
He played astoundingly good this week, though, so if he keeps it up he'll be around for sure.

My two favorite men's tennis players (who I must say, I like for similar reasons)!
They both first won the French Open on their 11th try.
We could all tell that Andre said, "I'm so happy for you, man," when he handed the trophy over.

During the Swiss national anthem. Federer wears his emotions on his sleeve (although he's only smashed his racket once).
Courier again: "He looked like he was about to lose it when Soderling was serving to stay in the match.
The thing is, we’re not used to seeing our heroes so vulnerable.”

John McEnroe, who never won the French in his professional career, asked to hold the cup, "just to see what it feels like."
McEnroe and my mom have been on the same wavelength since the '80s,
and a week after my mom said Federer was the Baryshnikov of tennis, McEnroe said the same.


So we are all very happy here, having been huge fans of the Fed since the early 2000s. But this time we were not alone in rooting for him. Here's to the best tennis player of my lifetime, anyway.

Federer reacts after winning championship point.

Jimmy Jump, a "professional jumper" from Barcelona, jumped out of the crowd, waved a flag at Federer, and tried to put a beret on him.
Apparently he seeks to make the "whole world laugh with his funny and great performances." He is now in jail.
Tournament security seriously dropped the ball: It's all shits and giggles until we remember that Monica Seles was stabbed during a match.

Robin Soderling, the runner-up: "You really gave me a lesson in how to play tennis."
He'd never even made it to the second week of a Grand Slam before, so no heartbreak here: he was just happy to be in the final.
He played astoundingly good this week, though, so if he keeps it up he'll be around for sure.

My two favorite men's tennis players (who I must say, I like for similar reasons)!
They both first won the French Open on their 11th try.
We could all tell that Andre said, "I'm so happy for you, man," when he handed the trophy over.

During the Swiss national anthem. Federer wears his emotions on his sleeve (although he's only smashed his racket once).
Courier again: "He looked like he was about to lose it when Soderling was serving to stay in the match.
The thing is, we’re not used to seeing our heroes so vulnerable.”

John McEnroe, who never won the French in his professional career, asked to hold the cup, "just to see what it feels like."
McEnroe and my mom have been on the same wavelength since the '80s,
and a week after my mom said Federer was the Baryshnikov of tennis, McEnroe said the same.

Mirka and the rest of team RF can finally relax. Until Wimbledon. Which is three weeks from now. LOL.
And more from the French Open fortnight:

At Roland Garros players tap their rackets against their sneakers before every point. It's to shake the clay out.
If you have no traction on clay you will lose.

Because the ball actually leaves a mark on clay, there's a lot of fighting between players and umpires.
This is basically because there is evidence to argue over. Here, No.3-ranked Andy Murray makes his case.

Fernando Gonzalez, who lost a five-set match to eventual runner-up Robin Soderling in the semifinals, going down hard.
There's also a lot of slippage in clay. But Gonzalez made news for the way he resolved a dispute over whether a ball was in or out:
sitting down on the court and wiping out the marks with his ass. Suffice it to say the establishment was not amused.

Lleyton Hewitt and Rafael Nadal share a tender and windblown post-match moment.
Lleyton Hewitt is Australia's only tennis hope (not much of one), and defending champ Nadal won the French four times in a row.
Unsurprisingly, Nadal decimated the formerly-good Hewitt in the 3rd round.

So Nadal's defeat in the next round by some unknown Swedish guy shocked the tennis world.
He lost to Soderling (who he has bad blood with) in only the 4th round, and his uncle/coach blamed the "stupid" and anti-Spaniard French.
I blame his new outfit. He's apparently trying to adopt Federer's preppy look and doing it very, very wrong.


Serena won that match, but went down to Svetlana Kuznetsova in the quarters.
It was a very hard three-set match for both of them, but in Serena's typical egomaniac fashion, she gave Sveta no credit afterwards:
"I pretty much gave it to her. It was like, 'Here, do you want to go to the semis? Because I don't.' She was like, 'Okay.'"

But Kuznetsova deserves credit, because she went on to win the whole thing very easily - 6-4, 6-2.
She comes from a family of cyclists, and she hackeysacked the tennis ball during the finals.

Kuznetsova's opponent in the finals, No. 1-ranked Dinara Safina, is my mother's favorite player because she's "Amazonian".
She roared through all her earlier matches, but nerves destroyed her in the finals: she spent most of the game
screaming at herself and asking her coach for help. Despite being Kuzzie's age (23), Safina often breaks down into a 15-year-old.

My homegirl Maria Sharapova (also not too zen) was trying to get back on the tour after eight months of injury and recovery.
She valiantly battled her way through the first week of matches (almost always coming back from behind), but lost in the quarters.
Hopefully the experience will let her mature into a more stable, better player.

Juan Martin Del Potro, an up-and-coming 20-year old who lost to Federer in the semifinals after leading 2 sets to 0, says FML.
Poor dude said he was "very sad" after the match, but he should take heart from Soderling's words:
''Every time I played Roger, after the match, I always said, 'I played so bad today.' Now I learned that it's not that I played bad:
He makes me play bad.''
And more from the French Open fortnight:

At Roland Garros players tap their rackets against their sneakers before every point. It's to shake the clay out.
If you have no traction on clay you will lose.

Because the ball actually leaves a mark on clay, there's a lot of fighting between players and umpires.
This is basically because there is evidence to argue over. Here, No.3-ranked Andy Murray makes his case.

Fernando Gonzalez, who lost a five-set match to eventual runner-up Robin Soderling in the semifinals, going down hard.
There's also a lot of slippage in clay. But Gonzalez made news for the way he resolved a dispute over whether a ball was in or out:
sitting down on the court and wiping out the marks with his ass. Suffice it to say the establishment was not amused.

Lleyton Hewitt and Rafael Nadal share a tender and windblown post-match moment.
Lleyton Hewitt is Australia's only tennis hope (not much of one), and defending champ Nadal won the French four times in a row.
Unsurprisingly, Nadal decimated the formerly-good Hewitt in the 3rd round.

So Nadal's defeat in the next round by some unknown Swedish guy shocked the tennis world.
He lost to Soderling (who he has bad blood with) in only the 4th round, and his uncle/coach blamed the "stupid" and anti-Spaniard French.
I blame his new outfit. He's apparently trying to adopt Federer's preppy look and doing it very, very wrong.

Gael Monfils, France's Great Caribbean Hope, also known as "the spider" and "sliderman."
He's known for crazy flamboyant tennis - and riling up the excitable French and encouraging them to cheer his opponent's unforced errors.
Taken out by Federer in the quarterfinals. Roger knew the key: to come out roaring, and not let the crowd get involved.

America's only hope on the men's side, Andy Roddick, failed to keep the crowd out of it and lost to Monfils in the 4th round.
Roddick wanted to suspend the match due to "darkness" (and an unfriendly crowd) and when Monfils walked past with a smile,
Roddick snapped: "You're not good enough to be that cocky." Of course, neither is Roddick.

America's only hope on the women's side, Serena Williams, is good enough to be cocky, though she overdoes it.
She also had a tough time at the French - she rightly accused Maria Jose Martinez Sanchez of cheating by hitting the ball with her wrist,
but the umpire ruled against her. When Sanchez didn't speak up, Serena told her, "I will get you in the locker room for that."
He's known for crazy flamboyant tennis - and riling up the excitable French and encouraging them to cheer his opponent's unforced errors.
Taken out by Federer in the quarterfinals. Roger knew the key: to come out roaring, and not let the crowd get involved.

America's only hope on the men's side, Andy Roddick, failed to keep the crowd out of it and lost to Monfils in the 4th round.
Roddick wanted to suspend the match due to "darkness" (and an unfriendly crowd) and when Monfils walked past with a smile,
Roddick snapped: "You're not good enough to be that cocky." Of course, neither is Roddick.

America's only hope on the women's side, Serena Williams, is good enough to be cocky, though she overdoes it.
She also had a tough time at the French - she rightly accused Maria Jose Martinez Sanchez of cheating by hitting the ball with her wrist,
but the umpire ruled against her. When Sanchez didn't speak up, Serena told her, "I will get you in the locker room for that."

Serena won that match, but went down to Svetlana Kuznetsova in the quarters.
It was a very hard three-set match for both of them, but in Serena's typical egomaniac fashion, she gave Sveta no credit afterwards:
"I pretty much gave it to her. It was like, 'Here, do you want to go to the semis? Because I don't.' She was like, 'Okay.'"

But Kuznetsova deserves credit, because she went on to win the whole thing very easily - 6-4, 6-2.
She comes from a family of cyclists, and she hackeysacked the tennis ball during the finals.

Kuznetsova's opponent in the finals, No. 1-ranked Dinara Safina, is my mother's favorite player because she's "Amazonian".
She roared through all her earlier matches, but nerves destroyed her in the finals: she spent most of the game
screaming at herself and asking her coach for help. Despite being Kuzzie's age (23), Safina often breaks down into a 15-year-old.

My homegirl Maria Sharapova (also not too zen) was trying to get back on the tour after eight months of injury and recovery.
She valiantly battled her way through the first week of matches (almost always coming back from behind), but lost in the quarters.
Hopefully the experience will let her mature into a more stable, better player.

Juan Martin Del Potro, an up-and-coming 20-year old who lost to Federer in the semifinals after leading 2 sets to 0, says FML.
Poor dude said he was "very sad" after the match, but he should take heart from Soderling's words:
''Every time I played Roger, after the match, I always said, 'I played so bad today.' Now I learned that it's not that I played bad:
He makes me play bad.''