intertribal: (is it the surface of the sun?)
[personal profile] intertribal
[note: more football, so feel free to skip more - picture-heavy, but I'm not cutting it cuz it's my damn livejournal]

Senior Joe Ganz following a concussion

My mother and I were trying to decipher why the 2008 Huskers football team have meant so much to me.  Was it because for the previous four years we had a coach I didn't care for (Bill Callahan) and an athletic director (Steve Pedersen), and now we've got good ol' Tom Osborne and the wonderful Bo Pelini back?  Was it because I was busy adjusting to college in the past?  My mother thinks it's two things: that I'm in a better mood these days, and thus more open to hope and excitement in general; and that I'm older - for the first time, I'm about the same age as the players.  She's probably right on both counts.  But whatever it is, I've never felt so connected to a Husker football squad.  I've cheered for the Huskers since middle school, and I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my uncle for monopolizing the remote: if he hadn't insisted he watch college football when I wanted to watch Cartoon Network, I wouldn't have had to ask him to explain the rules of the game to me.  But I digress.  I've cheered for the Huskers since middle school.  I've been tense and I've screamed and I've kept newspaper clippings.  But I've never felt as much as I do for this team.  Obviously I'm especially fond of the seniors, and obviously within the group of seniors, Joe Ganz (see earlier post).  When I thought we were going to lose, with two minutes left in the game - after battling back admirably in the second half - all I could say was, "they don't deserve this, they deserve better, I can't watch this happen to them." 


The defense, led by junior Ndamukong Suh (in the middle, wearing 93), makes a defensive stand

It would have been a heartbreaker if we lost then.  Not like this, we were thinking.  Not like this.  Not after the offense rallied.  Not after the defense had, prior to this series, played the game of its life - blocking field goals, blocking punts, sacking their quarterback, making interceptions.  The defense had fallen asleep momentarily and Clemson was at our 10-yard line with four chances to score.  If they had scored then it would likely be the ball game - we wouldn't have had the time, in all likelihood, to even get within field goal range, even though Alex Henery would have no doubt put all he had into an 80-yard field goal if Pelini asked him to.  All Clemson needed was a touchdown. 
 

Eric Hagg sacks Clemson's quarterback for a 16 yard loss

But just like the offense pulled itself together and came through in the third quarter, scoring 20 points, the defense pulled itself together and came through - they expected no less of themselves.  Sophomore Eric Hagg, who lost his blackshirt recently, sacked Clemson's quarterback down at the 26-yard line.  He later said he "had to make up for blowing the defense" on an earlier play.  Well, he did make up for it.  16-yard sacks are not common - their quarterback was obviously flustered, and Hagg was obviously driven.  He was not, I would say, as composed as our own QB.  The well-thrown pass on third down was batted down by junior Matt O'Hanlon in the end zone - as soon as O'Hanlon got off one of the coaches shouted at him, "You saved the day, man!  You saved the day!"  That's what's amazing about football.  Hagg and O'Hanlon and Castille, below, were not players you would have guessed would have saved the day.  But everyone who gets out on that field has to be ready to save the day because that pass might be coming their way, because the starter might get injured, because you might be the one defender with a straight shot at the quarterback.  Everyone has to be ready.  And we were ready, I think, where Clemson was not.  Our players knew well and deep what this game meant.


Matt O'Hanlon breaks up the last play of the game

On fourth down, the pass wasn't close.  The Husker closest to the pass, junior Larry Asante, started jumping up and down, and on the sidelines, Coach Pelini lifted his fists.  "That's it," said the radio announcer, "The Huskers will walk out of here Gator Bowl champions."  The offense ended the game in victory formation - the offensive line crowded together, the backs basically making sure nothing unseemly happens to the ball, and Ganz taking a knee, three times.  By then the celebration had already begun on the Nebraska sideline.  Ganz took a knee one last time with about twenty seconds left, the ref extended his hand and asked for the ball - "No, I'm keeping this one," said Ganz, and the Husker players and coaches came pouring onto the field. 
 

Ganz and the offense declare victory

After the turnovers in the first half, Ganz came out and completed two touchdown passes in the third quarter.  He also led the offense to two field goals.  Concussion threatened to sideline him - nope.  He only ended up missing one snap, and got them down to another field goal.  He was named the MVP.  "You gotta be a pretty special guy to have a fumble returned for a touchdown, an interception returned for a touchdown, and still be the MVP of a game," said Pelini.  "You gotta be a pretty special guy to do that."  He said, too, that Ganz epitomized the team's ability to bounce back after getting punched in the mouth, as the offensive linemen like to say, and keep fighting. 

 
Pelini, Ganz, and the MVP Trophy

There's this U.S. Open ad I really like that basically just says, "Walk it off.  Shake it off.  Walk it off.  Shake it off," and we've been doing just that since way back in our close, heartbreaker losses to Texas Tech and Virginia Tech.  Even when we're down by forty points we keep fighting.  And when we lose?  We come back the next week and play even harder.  We never bounced back under Callahan - we just got depressed, got down.  Bo Pelini changed that.  God knows what he says to them in the locker room, but that man can obviously coach.  As Osborne says, the players want to play for him.  And recently, we've started to be able to pull out not just close losses, but wins.  

 
Senior Nate Swift catches Nebraska's first touchdown pass

We were down 14-3 at the half of this game.  We came out on the first drive of the second half and scored.  So what the hell happened in the locker room?  People on the Life in the Red blog were saying that to recover after a really god-awful first half and win would be as monumental as the volleyball team recovering from a bad start of the season to get into the Final Four semifinals.  In other words: damn near impossible.  Other bloggers said that whether we adjusted in the second half would show us whether we had a good coaching staff, or a great one.  I guess we have a great one. 


Pelini and the Gator Bowl Trophy

During halftime, nobody pointed fingers; nobody shouted.  Everyone stayed calm.  Well, almost.  "I probably threw a chair or two in private," said Pelini, who's been trying to keep his emotions more disciplined as the season's gone on - but Osborne hired him in part, I think, because he was fiery - because he could light a fire under the players.  He was caught on national television screaming at referees and then got all self-conscious of his sideline demeanor, not wanting to make Nebraska look bad - not that I think the players ever gave a shit.  "Then I walk out and I act like everything's okay.  But before we walked out, I said, 'Hey fellas, we've been here before, right?'  And they said, 'Yep.'"  I don't think anyone in Husker Nation was holding onto the hope that we could win this game when the second half started.  The believers were all down in Jacksonville, in the Husker locker room. 

 
Senior Todd Peterson, on catching Nebraska's second touchdown pass / Pelini gets Gatorade'd
 
And we should've known.  We should've known how bad they wanted this win - for the seniors who had to endure the miserable Callahan era and rebuild the team from nothing as well as for the coaches.  Bo Pelini and his brother, defensive coordinator Carl, lost their father last week right before the team was due to fly to Jacksonville, and in honor of Anthony Pelini the players wore AP stickers on their helmets.  At the end of the game, Quentin Castille - the third-string runningback who had to step up and play a great game because the two guys ahead of him had injuries - pointed to the sticker on the back of his helmet and then pointed skyward.  "He was here with us today," Castille said. 


Quentin Castille
 
Add to that the promise of putting more cement on the foundation that this team and its seniors had laid for Nebraska's rise.  And with all that incentive - with so bad a desire to win this game - we should have known that they would be able to pull it out.  If this team has two things for certain, it's resolve and fortitude, as Pelini said.  Essentially the same team that went 5-7 last year won three more regular season games this year, got itself to a January bowl game, and then won that.  5-7 to 9-4, thanks to Bo Pelini and his staff and the seniors that had to grow up fast and solidify their leadership of this team.  At the beginning of the game, four prominent seniors - Ganz, Steinkuhler, Zach Potter, and Nate Swift - held hands as they led the team out of the locker room and onto the field.  Again: they had to build this team from nothing.  These seniors basically had to watch the Huskers freefall in the past couple seasons.  They had to take that demoralized team, tied for last in the Big 12 North and the laughingstock of the conference, and make them believe.  We tied for first in the Big 12 North this year.  Make them Bo-lieve, as fans are fond of saying: I BOlieve!  I BOlieve! 


Ganz and Pelini

Thank God for Bo.  Thank God for the seniors.  I'm so proud of them.  The Indonesian word for what they've got is ketabahan - essentially, the ability to "keep the faith".  They didn't just keep it; they fought for it.  The fans wanted to die in the stands and they went out and executed plays and made stands like they alone knew they could.  Though they're leaving us I believe the impact of their enormous character and inner strength will stay. 

So seniors, I'd like to say this: thank you for this season, for being a no-quit team, for playing with heart and soul and guts, for showing the younger players what Nebraska football at its best is like.  I hope that Husker fans remember, as this season fades into the next, what you all did for us as a fan base, and what you did for the football program.  You guys gave us our mojo back.  It's not just that things are well in Huskerville - it's that things are pulsating, alive, and ready to bite.  And that's thanks to you.  Remember.  As Pelini said to his seniors when he was handed the Gator Bowl trophy, "I love you all." 

I love all you all, baby.  I love all you all. 


Ganz and Pelini

being a jerk

Date: 2009-01-04 01:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] royinpink.livejournal.com
Some men never grew up
fortunate like you
some men never found out
what it takes to be a dude
that's sports and wine, yeh yeah.
sports and wine, no no

The girls don't understand it
what you think is art
my, oh my, we're all impressed
how sensitive you are
everybody's talking about you now
you know it's true
because it always has been
sports and wine for you

So you asked me how I think I know
Just what makes you tick
I don’t know what I know you know
I know you make me sick
Sports and wine
Sports and wine

the girls don't understand it,
anything you say
I don't understand it either
guess that makes me gay.
Everybody's talking about you now
you know it's true
No, no, no, no, no …

this makes me sad. was that your goal?

Date: 2009-01-04 06:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] intertribal.livejournal.com
on the content of your comment:

It makes me sad that you think, apparently, that I think if you or anybody else (girls?) doesn't like sports, that makes you/them "gay". Because that's like saying you consider me to be the kind of sports fan I hate - the kind of sports fan that I try not to be. Ouch. I sort of pride myself on being into things that are dominated by machismo and psycho-analyzing it / finding things within it that should be pulled out of that macho warp and into wider "findings", if you will, about people and life. You know, DBZ? It's the same thing: I do think it speaks volumes about colonialism and nationalism, but I definitely still have certain "sides" I "cheer" for. I guess you could say it's a hobby - I don't know why I am the way I am but I'm a combat junkie. But I'm also an intelligent human being and I am pretty aware of my context and of the people who share my interests. And I wonder if it's that you don't think I see that football is fucked up in many ways, or that you think I just don't care. But I do see it, and I do care about its implications. Man, if I didn't, I wouldn't really have any opinions on it besides "that was a badly played game" or "shouldn't have made that pass". And if your argument is that just by being a fan, I'm somehow betraying liberal ideals... um, that's giving sports a lot more rigidity than they deserve. It's like saying by studying war you HAVE to be a geo-political realist (if you're a constructivist, go study human rights). If you're a constructivist you CAN'T be into studying war, or you're actually a realist in disguise. And hoo-boy, am I ever not a realist. But war is what interests me. And I'm not saying that's what you think (though it is what a lot of poli sci theorists think), but that kind of mindset is why, I think, Democrats fail at international relations. So, if you think that I am somehow betraying liberal ideals, or being in denial, or whatever... well, I'm sorry you feel that way. *shrug*

on the title of your comment!:

Which hurts more than the actual comment, ironically. As I have said repeatedly, me writing about something =/= an insistence that you care about it. I almost disabled comments on this entry but then I thought, well that would be undemocratic, so I didn't, and just said, feel free to skip it in the hopes that you wouldn't be a jerk and would just leave me alone to be happy and to care about what I care about. You "being a jerk" about it, however - or at least attempting to be a jerk? I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to get across other than meanness - which surprises me in the context of the history of our friendship, but this disregard for my feelings seems to only apply to football. I get that you have a dislike for it, but... seriously? "being a jerk"? I even say how important it is to me and then you just say you're going to be a jerk about it. I don't even know what to say to that, except... wow. Guess it surprises me? I could just be being oversensitive and misreading this, but it's only cuz I care so much. About football. :P Yes, I'm a little warped because I've spent the past two weeks watching football and SportsCenter, from roughly 8 a.m. to 3 a.m. It's been awesome. It confirms to me that my Plan B should be, like, football analyst (fuck being one of those sidelines girls, I want to be on College Gameday). I'm rarely this happy. You may think it's pathetic... you're allowed to think that. But to paraphrase one of your old icons (the one with the child in the dinosaur costume), I like it better this way. So, if anything, just let me be happy? Don't make me pretend to be a normal 21-year-old female liberal arts student.

I'd really rather not have a big long argument about this, because there's no argument to be made. You're actually trying to be a jerk to someone that you supposedly consider a friend. I don't get it. That's not what friendship is to me. And if this was just something small, I'd understand more... but you know this is important to me. I think you've actually even acknowledged that in a comment before. So when I first got this comment I was pissed off... now, two or three hours later, I'm mostly tired and sad, and don't know what to think.

whoah, there

Date: 2009-01-04 06:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] royinpink.livejournal.com
i had no goals. i do not want you to be sad, of course. i wasn't even trying to be a jerk. i put absolutely zero thought into this comment, nor did i read most of the entry, because as we've discussed, i don't really care about football. it does not bother me that you do, at all.

It makes me sad that you think, apparently, that I think if you or anybody else (girls?) doesn't like sports, that makes you/them "gay". Because that's like saying you consider me to be the kind of sports fan I hate - the kind of sports fan that I try not to be.

I don't think you think this. The song is merely a parody of "guys' guys" by a fellow male who doesn't "get it." I find it amusing as such, not as some sort of statement that everyone who likes sports ever is one of those guys, or that you have to think so to like sports, or whatever. That's retarded. You know I think that's retarded.

I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to get across other than meanness - which surprises me in the context of the history of our friendship, but this disregard for my feelings seems to only apply to football. I get that you have a dislike for it, but... seriously? "being a jerk"? I even say how important it is to me and then you just say you're going to be a jerk about it.

I was kidding. I had absolutely zero animosity in posting the comment. It is just the only sort of football-related issue I have any interest in--how it gets appropriated as some sort of gender/sexuality-related issue, or the symbolicity of combat, the relationship between games and reality, etc. I find these interesting in an intellectual sort of way, and so that's about all I can honestly contribute. Somehow finding things interesting in this sense instead of sharing your excitement seems like "being a jerk" to me. You know, I'm killing all the fun. It probably shouldn't. But I really did not mean in the slightest that I intend some sort of personal attack, or that I have any resentment toward your like of football, or whatever. If anything, I have an apathy.

Re: whoah, there

Date: 2009-01-04 06:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] royinpink.livejournal.com
*I read the beginning, about your attachment to the 2008 team, but I skipped on the details of the football itself.

Re: whoah, there

Date: 2009-01-04 06:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] intertribal.livejournal.com
which is fine... and somehow makes this whole ordeal even sadder.

Re: whoah, there

Date: 2009-01-04 07:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] royinpink.livejournal.com
only if you think that i was like "you care about football? ahahahaha, i will comment something vicious to mock you!" which is so not me it makes me wonder if you know me.

Re: whoah, there

Date: 2009-01-04 07:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] intertribal.livejournal.com
it made me wonder that too, I'm sorry to say, which is half of why I felt so hurt - because I always feel like I can tell you anything and feel safe. you were always the one person on livejournal I didn't have to hide anything from or censor myself for.

Re: whoah, there

Date: 2009-01-04 08:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] royinpink.livejournal.com
aw, that is sad. i would never want you to feel that way around me.

er?

Date: 2009-01-04 06:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] intertribal.livejournal.com
Somehow finding things interesting in this sense instead of sharing your excitement seems like "being a jerk" to me. You know, I'm killing all the fun.

It makes me sad that you don't think I care about those issues. That's a large part of why I'm still into football right now. Because I see the same internal struggle in football that I see in war, except on a lesser scale. That's why I analyze quarterbacks, you know? Same reason I analyze politicians and military generals. Except, obviously, that shit's more complicated. What makes me sad is that you think contributing that kills my fun. Yes, I love my team. But, like, I love Aragorn too. And I still find joy in picking LOTR's mythology to pieces. I'm capable of critical thought, and I like thinking about things. Granted, I think contributing this comment to this post is misplaced, because yes, here I am just fawning, and it does come across as being jerkish, and I do feel hurt. It would probably be better placed in the post below, because I'm (mostly) not fawning there. Sometimes if you have nothing nice to say, it's better to say nothing at all? It's what I do on livejournal. It just makes it look like you're trying to be a jerk to get a rise out of me. That is 100% the impression this comment leaves.

I love my team, and I love Aragorn, because I think they exemplify the best qualities in activities that are pretty beastly at base value. It would be easier, obviously, to just not "do" football, but I need to get my fix in somehow - and I can't get my fix in through actual war, because politically, I'm a pacifist. I guess I've given you the impression that I don't want to psychoanalyze football. No, I don't appreciate it when you sort of roll your eyes and deride it. But that doesn't mean I don't want to have conversations about it. I'm always trying to get my mom to have deep conversations about it, but it just ends up with me ranting at her.

Re: er?

Date: 2009-01-04 07:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] royinpink.livejournal.com
It makes me sad that you don't think I care about those issues.

I don't think this. But I do think you're involved in football in ways I am not. This is all I have ever been saying, and I don't know why you insist on interpreting me as condescending to you at every turn. I don't think you're a retard, for fuck's sake. This, actually, is the only thing I find sad and insulting.

Sometimes if you have nothing nice to say, it's better to say nothing at all? It's what I do on livejournal.

Well, I don't feel the need to alter my opinions and interests or censor myself for anyone else, you included. With that comes responsibility for what I say, of course.

It just makes it look like you're trying to be a jerk to get a rise out of me. That is 100% the impression this comment leaves.

Okay. I'm sorry it gave you that impression. It was not the one I had intended, and I hope you understand that. It was rather thoughtless, as I am mostly freaking the fuck out about my thesis right now, not particularly thinking about the implications someone might take from songs I find amusing and happen to associate with topics of interest to them. I honestly only posted it because I feel like it's more caring to respond in any way I can, instead of ignoring entries that I don't relate to and topics that don't interest me, as if I don't care that you took the time to post it because it's of importance to you. So, I feel obligated to comment something in return. It was not an attack.

Re: er?

Date: 2009-01-04 07:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] intertribal.livejournal.com
We have very different approaches to livejournal. I always back away from things that don't interest me, because I think making a comment that communicates that I don't care is worse - because it's like, I don't care, but I will still take the time to tell you in creative ways that I don't care. It's like me talking about how much I love some politician... and you quoting from a song that says politics are for losers. it's like... uh? I don't find that caring, I find that as an attempt to be oppressive and derisive, and thus condescending. Especially because it's always to posts where I'm pouring my heart open, not where I'm myself being snarky and analytical. This isn't just me expressing love for something in fandom. This is up there with love for my friends, for my family. That is how much this team means to me. I was really close to making my mom drive to the airport so I could welcome them back to Nebraska. I understand that you don't mean it to be oppressive and derisive and condescending, however. But it's my knee-jerk interpretation.

In any case, good luck with your thesis.

Re: er?

Date: 2009-01-04 07:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] royinpink.livejournal.com
I think avoiding topics is just a nice way of lying, and all the worse for it. Like, if we ignore that I don't care, nobody has to feel bad about it, as if anyone should be feeling bad about what I care about or don't in the first place, which they shouldn't (unless i were saying i didn't care about you, or your happiness, which is a different issue). I think silence says, emphatically, I don't give a fuck (or at least something bad about which I may have multiple paranoid delusions), and I get really freaked out when people are silent. So, this may be an instance of "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" or whatever, ironically. I realize that the whole 'silence' thing is partly me just being paranoid, and people are totally capable of caring while being silent, even if I think it means they're secretly thinking I'm an idiot. I do think it's a bit rude to be like, "I don't give a fuck," because that would say that I don't care about what interests you in the sense that it interests you, not only that i don't share the same appreciation of the topic. I was trying not to do that, nor "tell you in creative ways that I don't care," and clearly failed. sigh

thanks for the luck

Re: er?

Date: 2009-01-04 07:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] royinpink.livejournal.com
and i'm often right that silence means people are secretly thinking i'm an idiot, or they don't care, or whatever, precisely because people are "polite" about it. i mean, it's the logical interpretation. i don't understand how silence is supposed to be nice.

Re: er?

Date: 2009-01-04 07:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] royinpink.livejournal.com
hm. clearly i'm divided on the issue.

Re: er?

Date: 2009-01-04 07:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] intertribal.livejournal.com
really? I wonder if we have a similar divide about lectures and seminars. when I'm silent it just means, ok, you know much more about that than I do, and I'd just make an ass of myself if I said anything (and I always do make an ass of myself). I genuinely don't think idiocy is always or even mostly what silence means (unless we mean the idiocy of the person being silent). Either that or, yes, I agree, but I have nothing more to add.

Re: er?

Date: 2009-01-04 07:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] royinpink.livejournal.com
Hm, but I only have that feeling of making an ass out of myself when I give the other person a lot of authority over me. Like, I have to be really afraid of making an ass out of myself, afraid of what they'll think of me, for that. In groups, I'll get so nervous sometimes that I stop being able to think or put words together. It's very close to my fear of public speaking.

I think I just have like a default assumption that everybody thinks I'm idiotic and unworthy. Which is why flattery works on me to great effect, or i'm so surprised at it that i assume the other person must be crazy, or polite, or sucking up, or something. And silence just lets my imagination run wild.

Over time, though, I've realized that there are other possibilities: the other person is busy, or disinterested, or confused, or distracted, or intimidated...etc. It's pretty foreign to me to imagine that I could possibly impress anybody into silence, though.

But yeah, I often make an ass of myself by not being silent. I'm learning to be more comfortable with that. This may not be, uh, the greatest example of how that's helpful, but I swear it is (especially in the context of school). Like, as a child, I couldn't sleep going over all the stupid things I'd said, and everything I'd done wrong. I'm learning to accept being a stupid ass sometimes, and that that doesn't mean I'm this horrible person.

Re: er?

Date: 2009-01-04 08:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] intertribal.livejournal.com
It's pretty foreign to me to imagine that I could possibly impress anybody into silence, though.

Uh, you do it all the time, dude.

Re: er?

Date: 2009-01-04 08:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] intertribal.livejournal.com
yes. with your semiotics posts.

Re: er?

Date: 2009-01-04 08:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] royinpink.livejournal.com
i usually assume people don't respond 'cause they don't care. even when people don't get it at all, but they want to talk to me about it, i get so excited. maybe overexcited.

Re: er?

Date: 2009-01-04 08:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] intertribal.livejournal.com
well, I usually don't respond because I feel so out of my league, and part of the reason I'm out of my league is because I don't care about it as much as you do. I don't even know how to begin to talk to you about it.

Re: er?

Date: 2009-01-04 07:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] intertribal.livejournal.com
well, I think I'm being defensive of the football team in ways that, um, are not normal, and that you would not be able to guess from what I've written so far, so... yeah.

sometimes lying is useful, you know. I get what you're saying, but see, I don't interpret silence that way, but I know you always have taken silence in a different way than me.

but I appreciate your overall intention, of demonstrating that you care in the sense that it interests me.

Re: er?

Date: 2009-01-04 07:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] royinpink.livejournal.com
defensive of the football team?

yeah, matt convinced me to lie occasionally. it was like a huge step in my growth as a human being, lol.

haha, thanks. sorry for not doing a better job of making the intention understandable to anybody but myself.

Re: er?

Date: 2009-01-04 08:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] intertribal.livejournal.com
... yes.

I'm glad, I mean, lying helps us function in today's society if nothing else. Although my mom got all offended by this tv commercial that said the average human lies some number of times every ten minutes. She was all, "not the people I know!" and blah blah blah.

well, my brain is cloudy now anyway.

Re: er?

Date: 2009-01-04 08:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] royinpink.livejournal.com
I've only really lied to avoid my parents when I disagree with their rules or about gifts when I appreciate the gift and don't want to criticize it and give the impression otherwise. Even then I try to come up with honest nice things to say.

Re: er?

Date: 2009-01-04 08:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] intertribal.livejournal.com
I used to lie WAAAAY too much as a child. I actually came close to being one of those people that gets off on lying.

Re: this makes me sad. was that your goal?

Date: 2009-01-04 06:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] royinpink.livejournal.com
Don't make me pretend to be a normal 21-year-old female liberal arts student.

Dude, I can't make you do this or anything else, nor do I want to. But please don't treat anyone else as if they have that power over you.

Re: this makes me sad. was that your goal?

Date: 2009-01-04 06:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] intertribal.livejournal.com
Believe me, I won't. I watched the NFL all the way while I was seething through this comment and cheered on Peyton Manning, and I am not ashamed of that.

I like to avoid being sad. And these conversations make me sad. So I don't like to have them.

Re: this makes me sad. was that your goal?

Date: 2009-01-04 07:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] royinpink.livejournal.com
I like to avoid being sad. And these conversations make me sad. So I don't like to have them.

Well, I don't think doing what feels good and avoiding what doesn't is a suitable manner to approach life ethically, but I'm not sure if that's what you're advocating.

Re: this makes me sad. was that your goal?

Date: 2009-01-04 07:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] intertribal.livejournal.com
It's not what I'm advocating, quite, but dude, what makes me sad about these conversations is not that you don't give a shit about football, or that you see negative implications in it. Like, plenty of people do that. What makes me sad is feeling like you don't care about my feelings enough to not be a jerk to me. I know, not what you intended, and I know you believe in being blunt and not censoring yourself. But I can't believe you don't censor yourself sometimes when I talk about my father. And this? This is along those lines. It's close to my soul. I'm all for having discussions about the state of my soul, but just taking riffs at it? Not so cool. Who knows though, maybe these conversations will, in the end, make me stronger.

However, I would have just disabled comments if I really wanted to avoid what doesn't feel good.

Re: this makes me sad. was that your goal?

Date: 2009-01-04 07:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] royinpink.livejournal.com
But I can't believe you don't censor yourself sometimes when I talk about my father. And this? This is along those lines. It's close to my soul. I'm all for having discussions about the state of my soul, but just taking riffs at it? Not so cool.

I used to be so terrified of what you'd think if I said anything about your father that I wouldn't mention it. At some point I thought maybe it was better if I expressed interest/care and addressed issues that concerned me instead of being terrified of your wrath. I dunno, if I ever cross a line, though, I will understand any wrath dumped upon me. But I wasn't taking riffs at...! Sigh, ah, well. Anyway, why is it so close to your soul? I mean, I read the bit about being similar in age and being in a better mood (on which, congrats), as well as your other comments about political science without death and being a combat junkie, but I still really don't get it. Also I haven't even gotten to your newer post (which I gather there is), but I will later.

Re: this makes me sad. was that your goal?

Date: 2009-01-04 08:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] intertribal.livejournal.com
Well, at this point, say anything you want about my father or my "relationship" with him, because... well, I don't think anyone could say anything that would shake me or anger me on that front. I really think, with the football team, that the getting-out-of-the-funk-of-college thing is a huge deal. Maybe I feel like I've struggled too, and I'm at a better place now, and I feel like they're doing the same thing with the kind of attitude I really, truly admire. My mom says people in her office are excited about it because it feels like everything is really changing (Obama, the football team... seriously). They're like, "cosmic paradigm shift in the air!!!" So it's not just me. It's cheesy, but I find them inspirational. And I don't get inspired by a lot. Politics, quite frankly, is way too complicated to really inspire me. All the politicians I admire are dead, and I think if FDR was alive and I was listening to his fireside chats in real time I wouldn't be too hot about him either. I've never seen the football program and the players get over this much of a hurdle in such short order. And me and all the other fans lost faith so many times, and they constantly came through. It's this kind of stuff that inspires me to keep fighting in my life. I know that doesn't quite answer your question, but it's as far as I've been able to get in thinking about it non-stop for the past three days.

there's something else that's seriously coloring my opinion here, but I'm writing a different entry on that. sorry so many entries.

Re: this makes me sad. was that your goal?

Date: 2009-01-04 08:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] royinpink.livejournal.com
Well, at this point, say anything you want about my father or my "relationship" with him, because... well, I don't think anyone could say anything that would shake me or anger me on that front.

I'm glad. And in all fairness, it was probably better I've been silent sometimes in the past...

All the politicians I admire are dead

There are politicians you admire?

And me and all the other fans lost faith so many times, and they constantly came through. It's this kind of stuff that inspires me to keep fighting in my life.

So...sort of analogical? Not that analogies aren't powerful. On the contrary.

Re: this makes me sad. was that your goal?

Date: 2009-01-04 08:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] intertribal.livejournal.com
Yeah, back when I was still trying to center myself and "adjust", so to speak.

FDR. Um, George Washington. Kind of. That's... about it. Hamilton can kiss my ass though. Actually, I sort of admire Colin Powell for his honesty, but... no, admire is too strong a word for Powell.

Yeah, it's analogical, I guess, mostly that is.

Re: this makes me sad. was that your goal?

Date: 2009-01-04 08:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] royinpink.livejournal.com
or rather, older post. i just hadn't gotten that far on my friends page.

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