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Well, I just finished my horrible two-page rape scene. I suppose it's not really a rape scene because it's not consummated. It's still pretty ugly regardless - I've never written one where the victim is fourteen. Oddly enough I've found that the song I've been listening to on repeat while writing this scene - which I actually rewrote once to place it in Andromache's perspective instead of Jason Peleus's, and thus I don't even say his name in these two pages, even though I make it clear from the previous scene that it's him, because Andromache doesn't know who it is - is "Behind Blue Eyes". I feel like both Jason Peleus and Andromache can relate to it, especially in the aftermath. It's odd.
no one knows what it's like to be hated, to be fated to telling only lies
but my dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscious seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
my love is vengeance that's never free
no one knows what it's like to feel these feelings like I do, and I blame you
no one bites back as hard on their anger
none of my pain will or can show through
but my dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscious seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
my love is vengeance that's never free
no one knows what it's like to be mistreated, to be defeated behind blue eyes
no one knows how to say that they're sorry, and don't worry, I'm not telling lies
but my dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscious seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
my love is vengeance that's never free
Interesting, ne? I like it when I find songs that I can split into both the victim and the perpetrator's perspective, it always makes me feel like I'm really supposed to be writing this, and it also makes me feel like I've written both sides well, without making yucky stereotypes, or worse, no explanation or feeling at all, usually from the perpetrator. The other song I've found that matches this is "Limp" by Fiona Apple - it goes with A Good Man is Hard to Find's domestic abuse motif. It's slightly amazing.
N:
you wanna make me sick, you wanna lick my wounds, don't you baby
you want the badge of honor when you save my hide
but you're the one in the way of the day of doom, baby
if you need my shame to reclaim your pride
when I think of it, my fingers turn to fists
I never did anything to you, man
no matter what I try, you beat me with your bitter lies
so call me crazy, hold me down, make me cry, get off now baby
it won't be long till you'll be lying limp in your own hands
R:
you feed the beast I have within me
you wave the red flag, baby, you make it run, run, run
standing on the sidelines waving and grinning
you fondle my trigger then you blame my gun
when I think of it, my fingers turn to fists
I never did anything to you, man
no matter what I try, you beat me with your bitter lies
so call me crazy, hold me down, make me cry, get off now baby
it won't be long till you'll be lying limp in your own hands
I know this kind of thing is very character-specific. It only works with "Limp" because Rod and Nike have a history of him saving her whenever she's in danger, to the point that she no longer knows how to save herself, and how well he protects her is what he's decided to use to measure his success in life, so it seems that he's starting to want to keep her passive and helpless, so that he still has a means for validation (first verse). Meanwhile, he takes out the rage he feels for the world on her, blaming her for being too good for him, as he sees it, blaming her for not wanting to have sex but constantly needing someone to hold her hand, blaming her for pissing him off, for telling him what to do, because if he blames anyone else, like the people actually at fault, he'll get fired (second verse). And both of them actually feel helpless, weak, out of control, completely miserable, and hateful (chorus).
My point is... writing rape scenes is very difficult and should be dealt with very, very carefully and deliberately. It usually takes me a couple days and/or at least six hours. And I've written a lot of them. In Musings of a Young World, there are two in book 1, two in book 2 (and the one at the end is really, really bad), one in book 3 (but it's male-on-male, zing), one real one, eight or nine dream ones, and lots of undertones and references in book 4, none in book 5 or 6 (amazing, I know - although 6 has a lot of rape threats), and five in book 7, as well as lots of graphic torture. They are, however, all near-rapes. They also almost all happen to the same person. You may think that's excessive, but I have a reason for it. It's only revealed in the end, because all through the series Rod and Nike are trying to figure out why it keeps happening, why she (and thus they) can't escape it. It turns out it's because she's an avatar of the goddess Durga/Parvati, and demons want to ravish her because she's so beautiful (more in a metaphysical sense than a physical sense), so they possess whatever willing body they can get to do it. I took that from many thorough readings of the Durga myth in Hinduism - she's created by the gods to destroy the buffalo-demon Mahishasura, and when Mahishasura hears about her beauty he demands that she be "dragged to him by the hair" if she won't come willingly. Of course, he never gets it, because Durga means Unattainable, and she's the most powerful being in the universe and kills all the demons, including Mahishasura. In book 7, when Nike's being tortured in prison, she gets pushed to the breaking point and Durga takes over and her body temporarily comes out of a coma, grows eight extra arms with eight extra weapons, flies back to Libya, and kills all of her captors.
That was a bit of a tangent. Just defending my decisions, that's all.
The point is, I've written a lot of rape scenes, and I like to think I am very deliberate about them. I like to think I'm not being gratuitous. I've never written what romance novels like to call "forced seduction" - the only time that the hero forces the heroine into anything, it's clearly marital rape and she does not decide midway through that "she can't fight the feelings he was forcing out of her". I mean, maybe you can write "forced seduction" without the book being trash, but I think it's hard.
Key 1: Research. This romance writer Judith McNaught excused her rape scene that some readers never forgave her for with this:
"I naively and erroneously assumed that we were all writing harmless fantasy and that it would automatically be perceived as such by readers. I had absolutely no idea back then that rape was an all-too-common occurrence in real life. I never imagined that there might be women who would read my book and be made to cringe with the real memory of real rape."
OK, that, to me, is utter bullshit. I'm not saying this isn't really what happened with her story (although I feel it's unlikely that she did not know rape happened, because that's sort of a logical gap right there) - I'm saying it's pathetic that she didn't know rape occurred in real life, and that it might be bad to write a hero who rapes the heroine, begs forgiveness, and then they fall in love. Where did she grow up? Did she have parents? Friends? Did she leave the house? I suppose McNaught also justifies it with the equally erroneous belief that if the woman orgasms during rape, that means it's not rape. Research can safely lead you to avoid mistakes like these, and many more!
Key 2: Perspective. Whose? Stick to one perspective, as usual, throughout the scene unless you know the characters inside out and really want it to be a mutual experience. The Rod/Nike scene in book 4, for instance, was a dual perspective, because they're my two central characters and would continue to be. It's probably easiest to write from the victim's perspective. However, a rape scene does not necessarily have to be from the victim's perspective. Let's all admit that one of the reasons we're addicted to Law & Order SVU is because the detectives spend a lot of time listening to the perpetrators' stories, listening for the real reason they committed sexual violence, because therein lies the motive, and thus the confession/conviction, and that's a morbid curiosity for a lot of us - what are they thinking? However, if you choose to write from the perpetrator's perspective, be very careful about not just going off the deep end with evilness. Unless you're actually writing an evil, bad-to-the-bone, spawn of Satan character, you can't get away with that. A grand majority of men aren't devilishly evil, after all, and a wide spectrum of men do commit rapes. Which leads me to my third point...
Key 3: Motivation. Of both the perpetrator and the victim. You're probably wondering what motivation the victim could possibly have - after all, she (or he) is the powerless, choiceless one. But there are motivations involved - why does the victim respond in that particular way - by screaming, fighting back, crying, being paralyzed, etc.? They won't all respond the same way. Nike generally gives the same response - putting up a maximum fight - but not when it's Rod. With him, she cowers and pleads and in the end she just gives up. For the perpetrator, I'll give you a little hint: Power, Anger, or Sadistic? Those are the three (main) kinds of rapes. In shorthand, power rapists want to dominate the victim, but not hurt them. Anger rapists want to hurt them, just to get the will to kill something out of their veins, and it's not about sex as much as with the others. Sadistic rapists want to hurt them, because pain turns them on. If the victim cries, a power rapist will either tell them to stop or block it out, anger rapists will hit them, and sadistic rapists will just enjoy it. This is of course all generalization, but it's really important to figure out which one of these your perp is. If you need help, I've found it's always useful to listen to music - the lyrics, that is. Chances are songs in your playlist don't have titles like "This is Why I Rape". But unless you only listen to John Mayer, or emocore, chances are there will be songs in there that sort of hint at similar feelings expressed by your perpetrator. Sometimes they're hidden under titles you wouldn't suspect - for example, Nirvana's "Polly" is much better than "Rape Me" - so you just have to go through your library. However, I swear it helps. It doesn't even have to be a male singer, or about sex. See "Limp" above. The songs I use a lot are:
* "Tear You Apart" - She Wants Revenge. "I want to hold you close, skin pressed against me tight, lie still, close your eyes girl, so lovely, it feels so right/ I want to hold you close, soft breasts, beating heart, as I whisper in your ear: I wanna fucking tear you apart"
* "Stinkfist" - Tool. "Just not enough, I need more, nothing seems to satisfy/ I said, I don't want it, I just need it to breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive/ finger deep within the borderline, show me that you love me and that we belong together (this may hurt a little but it's something you'll get used to)/ relax, turn around, and take my hand"
* "Closer" - Nine Inch Nails. "You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you, you let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you/ help me, I broke apart my insides/ help me, I've got no soul to sell/ help me, the only thing that works for me - help me get away from myself/ I wanna fuck you like an animal, I wanna feel you from the inside, I wanna fuck you like an animal, my whole existence is flawed/ you get me closer to God/ you can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings/ you can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything"
* "Pet" - A Perfect Circle. "Pay no mind what other voices say, they don't care about you like I do/ safe from pain, and truth, and choice, and other poison devils/ see they don't give a fuck about you like I do/ just stay with me, safe and ignorant, go back to sleep"
* "Polly" - Nirvana. "Polly wants a cracker, thinks I should get off her first/ I think she wants some water to put out the blowtorch/ Polly wants a cracker, maybe she would like more food/ asked me to untie her/ a chase would be nice for a few"
* "Break Stuff" - Limp Bizkit. "It's all about the he said she said bullshit/ I think you'd better quit it, let shit slip, or you'll be leaving with a fat lip/ I feel like shit, my suggestion is to keep your distance, cuz right now I'm dangerous/ we've all felt like shit and been treated like shit/ all those motherfuckers, they wanna step up/ I hope you know I'm like a chainsaw, I'll skin your ass raw/ and if my day keeps going this way I just might break your fucking face tonight/ give me something to break"
If you end up accidentally sympathizing with the perpetrator because the music is so good, don't worry - that's a good thing. Try to keep that sympathy in mind when you write, so you're not writing a one-sided rape thriller (will the virginal heroine escape the evil lecher?), so you keep writing about real people. Even if you never write from the perpetrator's perspective, you'll still be writing his actions, and those actions are vastly different depending on his motivation, as are his words, the way he does it, etc., and most importantly perhaps, if he's not going to disappear from the story after this scene, what he does next.
Jason Peleus, for example, is a mix of a power and anger rapist. He wants to claim something, to exert control over it, and to not lose it, because he feels that he's lost everything recently - his father, his rightful position at the head of the Centurion, and now his family heirloom pocket watch. Andromache is thus completely objectified in his eyes, and he doesn't care if he hits her or hurts her. There is no guilt that follows, only a desire to make sure that he really does stake a claim in her, just because he has an investment in her and doesn't want to lose something, again. Rod is, in his one instance of committing sexual assault, a power rapist: he also wants to exert control over something, but whereas Jason Peleus doesn't know Andromache, he has made Nike a target in his mind, a symbol of perfection and beauty, and he doesn't actually want to hurt her - he doesn't want to bring her down so much as raise himself up - and he loves her and actually does value her feelings, so there's no end to the stream of guilt that follows. John Smith is a sadistic rapist. He's a rapist for hire and he gets off on pain, even more than power or sensation, which is why when Nike escapes him the first time he develops an elaborate revenge plot that will put both her and Rod through the most suffering he can imagine.
(Oh, and: I'm not including more specific instructions for the victim's emotion because it seems easier to write, but make sure to read the Language section)
Key 4: Language. This is the worst part, and by worst I mean hardest. It's a judgment call. You must, must, must have the scene flow, language-wise, with the rest of your story. No dramatic tone changes. Don't get weepy if you write like Tom Clancy, don't get graphic if you write like Nicholas Sparks. And watch out for sensuality. It doesn't belong if you're writing from most standard victim perspectives, and if you're writing from the perpetrator perspective, I would advise you not start writing like you're trying to jerk off the reader. And although this is really up to the writer, I would suggest the following corollaries: a) try to have both emotion/thought and action, b) don't use words that you otherwise wouldn't use in the story, c) don't go overboard with listing off implications and consequences, even if you're writing from the victim's perspective - don't just start saying, "and everyone would be so angry and her father might kill himself" - I suggest finding other ways to stress the gravity of the situation, d) try not to use the same words over and over, and e) don't go overboard with cliche words. I know it's hard to avoid, especially if you're uncomfortable writing it - all you want to use is "sob" and "invade" and "force" and "brutal". But then you're not too far from making it a Lifetime movie. I know, I know, you want to make sure everybody knows it's a painful, terrible experience. But I would really urge you not to wax too poetic with the soft tear-felt words. I've always believed it's better in rape scenes to err on the side of graphic than weepy. Rape is violent. It's not like breaking up with a boyfriend. There's something inherently garrish and grotesque about it, and I am of the personal opinion that it's more of an insult to tuck the savagery of it in the shadows than to put it out in the open where the reader can be horrified. Having said that, don't go so far as to make it The Clockwork Orange and glorify the rape. Don't go on and on about the victim's beautiful, voluptuous body. Most of all, don't make it comedic. The only person who can get away with that is Joseph Heller, and him just barely. Just barely. Cormac McCarthy wrote a great scene in... what was it, The Crossing? The narrators come across these two horsemen standing above a little girl, and they're just talking - there's no action at all, because it's implied the action is already done. But you remember it because one of the horsemen says, "If they're old enough to bleed," as justification. Yeah, it's unpleasant and may make you cringe, but it's supposed to. Does the phrase "took advantage of her" make you cringe? Probably not. And you should write it in a way that makes your reader feel the horror, really feel it.
I can't quote it directly, but there was an episode of SVU that sort of shows what I mean. This guy's been murdered, and the girl who found him has just made the claim that he earlier raped her. She says, "I take so many showers over and over and I never feel clean..." and sobs into Detective Stabler's shoulder after talking about how "he used to come into my room". Detective Benson asks what position the body was in, and she stammers and says she doesn't know, then starts crying again. Benson doesn't believe her rape story because it's so full of tropes, and doesn't think it's possible for her to not remember what position the body was in - "that's not the kind of thing you forget". It turns out, indeed, that they had consensual sex, and she got mad that he wasn't taking her on a trip to Thailand or something and flipped out and killed him. The point? Avoid cliched language. Put in the unpleasant stuff, because that's what actually sinks in.
Key 5: Plotting. The nitty-gritty stuff. You may be tempted to bypass most of this completely, but I don't personally think it's a good idea. Writing without detail is generally a bad idea, and although you can stick to the realm of metaphor - like calling a penis a "seal man" - only do this if the rest of your novel is written similarly. Where? How? What? This all depends on the circumstances and the personality/mindset of the perpetrator. Don't be all S&M with handcuffs and whips, ever, unless the rapist is a sadistic rapist, this is extremely pre-meditated, and the perpetrator has experience. If your heroine escapes, make sure to leave her an avenue of escape or make her rescue realistic. Don't stress this point too much, though, because I don't think anybody who doesn't have personal experience can really write about it with complete realism. For the rest of us, unfortunately I would advise seeking out books or movies with realistic rape scenes. Movies are usually safer, just so you avoid ripping off another author because you have no idea how to write the scene and the temptation is just to copy someone else's, because that distances the writing from yourself. But there aren't a lot of movies that do a good job of this - and you can usually tell when it's realistic, even if you have no personal experience. That means no Lifetime, no Beverly Hills 90210. Yes to Law & Order, SVU, and Criminal Intent - those shows are very realistic, unapologetic, no-holds-barred, and there's a reason they have the parental discretion warning at the beginning. However, here's a list of the most realistic rape scenes in movies - and consider this the "don't say I didn't warn you". Don't watch these movies for entertainment or relaxation, consider it part of your research. Yes, I know you don't want to see something like this - but if you want to write a rape scene in a reputable book, I really think you need to. I would add Irreversible to this list, but I haven't seen it. I would, though. There's a 9-minute rape scene that makes most people walk out of the theater and is supposedly extremely gruesome. It might cause an ulcer, but I bet it would help the realism and emotion of a rape scene.
* Bastard Out of Carolina
* House of Spirits
* Crash (2004)
* Visitor Q
* Hero (not House of Flying Daggers)
* Casualties of War
* The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc
* Brasilia 18%
* Oldboy
That's all for now, folks. I leave you with a closing quote on the matter about director Sam Peckinpah's movies, which are often derided as having too much graphic sex and violence. I don't necessarily agree with everything Peckinpah believes about men and women, but I think this reviewer's statement about his beliefs is astute and accurately captures why I have so many rape scenes, and why I'll defend their right to be in my stories till Gabriel blows his trumpets. "Women are raped, Peckinpah asserts, because they can be. Their violation is a weapon in the masculine struggle. An essential point: Peckinpah’s men also violate each other. They simply use bullets to do so. This does not minimize the terrors of sexual violence. The horrendous nature of the act is the root of its effectiveness as a weapon. The profundity of the damage it causes is the source of its importance to the catastrophic struggle. Men, asserts Peckinpah, do not hold back from rape because nothing holds them back. The nihilism of masculine interaction has no boundaries. Everything is permitted. For Peckinpah to have excised rape from his world would have given masculinity a nobility of which it is undeserving. It would have demarcated borders where none exist. It would have turned his tragedies into lies."
no one knows what it's like to be hated, to be fated to telling only lies
but my dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscious seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
my love is vengeance that's never free
no one knows what it's like to feel these feelings like I do, and I blame you
no one bites back as hard on their anger
none of my pain will or can show through
but my dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscious seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
my love is vengeance that's never free
no one knows what it's like to be mistreated, to be defeated behind blue eyes
no one knows how to say that they're sorry, and don't worry, I'm not telling lies
but my dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscious seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
my love is vengeance that's never free
Interesting, ne? I like it when I find songs that I can split into both the victim and the perpetrator's perspective, it always makes me feel like I'm really supposed to be writing this, and it also makes me feel like I've written both sides well, without making yucky stereotypes, or worse, no explanation or feeling at all, usually from the perpetrator. The other song I've found that matches this is "Limp" by Fiona Apple - it goes with A Good Man is Hard to Find's domestic abuse motif. It's slightly amazing.
N:
you wanna make me sick, you wanna lick my wounds, don't you baby
you want the badge of honor when you save my hide
but you're the one in the way of the day of doom, baby
if you need my shame to reclaim your pride
when I think of it, my fingers turn to fists
I never did anything to you, man
no matter what I try, you beat me with your bitter lies
so call me crazy, hold me down, make me cry, get off now baby
it won't be long till you'll be lying limp in your own hands
R:
you feed the beast I have within me
you wave the red flag, baby, you make it run, run, run
standing on the sidelines waving and grinning
you fondle my trigger then you blame my gun
when I think of it, my fingers turn to fists
I never did anything to you, man
no matter what I try, you beat me with your bitter lies
so call me crazy, hold me down, make me cry, get off now baby
it won't be long till you'll be lying limp in your own hands
I know this kind of thing is very character-specific. It only works with "Limp" because Rod and Nike have a history of him saving her whenever she's in danger, to the point that she no longer knows how to save herself, and how well he protects her is what he's decided to use to measure his success in life, so it seems that he's starting to want to keep her passive and helpless, so that he still has a means for validation (first verse). Meanwhile, he takes out the rage he feels for the world on her, blaming her for being too good for him, as he sees it, blaming her for not wanting to have sex but constantly needing someone to hold her hand, blaming her for pissing him off, for telling him what to do, because if he blames anyone else, like the people actually at fault, he'll get fired (second verse). And both of them actually feel helpless, weak, out of control, completely miserable, and hateful (chorus).
My point is... writing rape scenes is very difficult and should be dealt with very, very carefully and deliberately. It usually takes me a couple days and/or at least six hours. And I've written a lot of them. In Musings of a Young World, there are two in book 1, two in book 2 (and the one at the end is really, really bad), one in book 3 (but it's male-on-male, zing), one real one, eight or nine dream ones, and lots of undertones and references in book 4, none in book 5 or 6 (amazing, I know - although 6 has a lot of rape threats), and five in book 7, as well as lots of graphic torture. They are, however, all near-rapes. They also almost all happen to the same person. You may think that's excessive, but I have a reason for it. It's only revealed in the end, because all through the series Rod and Nike are trying to figure out why it keeps happening, why she (and thus they) can't escape it. It turns out it's because she's an avatar of the goddess Durga/Parvati, and demons want to ravish her because she's so beautiful (more in a metaphysical sense than a physical sense), so they possess whatever willing body they can get to do it. I took that from many thorough readings of the Durga myth in Hinduism - she's created by the gods to destroy the buffalo-demon Mahishasura, and when Mahishasura hears about her beauty he demands that she be "dragged to him by the hair" if she won't come willingly. Of course, he never gets it, because Durga means Unattainable, and she's the most powerful being in the universe and kills all the demons, including Mahishasura. In book 7, when Nike's being tortured in prison, she gets pushed to the breaking point and Durga takes over and her body temporarily comes out of a coma, grows eight extra arms with eight extra weapons, flies back to Libya, and kills all of her captors.
That was a bit of a tangent. Just defending my decisions, that's all.
The point is, I've written a lot of rape scenes, and I like to think I am very deliberate about them. I like to think I'm not being gratuitous. I've never written what romance novels like to call "forced seduction" - the only time that the hero forces the heroine into anything, it's clearly marital rape and she does not decide midway through that "she can't fight the feelings he was forcing out of her". I mean, maybe you can write "forced seduction" without the book being trash, but I think it's hard.
Key 1: Research. This romance writer Judith McNaught excused her rape scene that some readers never forgave her for with this:
"I naively and erroneously assumed that we were all writing harmless fantasy and that it would automatically be perceived as such by readers. I had absolutely no idea back then that rape was an all-too-common occurrence in real life. I never imagined that there might be women who would read my book and be made to cringe with the real memory of real rape."
OK, that, to me, is utter bullshit. I'm not saying this isn't really what happened with her story (although I feel it's unlikely that she did not know rape happened, because that's sort of a logical gap right there) - I'm saying it's pathetic that she didn't know rape occurred in real life, and that it might be bad to write a hero who rapes the heroine, begs forgiveness, and then they fall in love. Where did she grow up? Did she have parents? Friends? Did she leave the house? I suppose McNaught also justifies it with the equally erroneous belief that if the woman orgasms during rape, that means it's not rape. Research can safely lead you to avoid mistakes like these, and many more!
Key 2: Perspective. Whose? Stick to one perspective, as usual, throughout the scene unless you know the characters inside out and really want it to be a mutual experience. The Rod/Nike scene in book 4, for instance, was a dual perspective, because they're my two central characters and would continue to be. It's probably easiest to write from the victim's perspective. However, a rape scene does not necessarily have to be from the victim's perspective. Let's all admit that one of the reasons we're addicted to Law & Order SVU is because the detectives spend a lot of time listening to the perpetrators' stories, listening for the real reason they committed sexual violence, because therein lies the motive, and thus the confession/conviction, and that's a morbid curiosity for a lot of us - what are they thinking? However, if you choose to write from the perpetrator's perspective, be very careful about not just going off the deep end with evilness. Unless you're actually writing an evil, bad-to-the-bone, spawn of Satan character, you can't get away with that. A grand majority of men aren't devilishly evil, after all, and a wide spectrum of men do commit rapes. Which leads me to my third point...
Key 3: Motivation. Of both the perpetrator and the victim. You're probably wondering what motivation the victim could possibly have - after all, she (or he) is the powerless, choiceless one. But there are motivations involved - why does the victim respond in that particular way - by screaming, fighting back, crying, being paralyzed, etc.? They won't all respond the same way. Nike generally gives the same response - putting up a maximum fight - but not when it's Rod. With him, she cowers and pleads and in the end she just gives up. For the perpetrator, I'll give you a little hint: Power, Anger, or Sadistic? Those are the three (main) kinds of rapes. In shorthand, power rapists want to dominate the victim, but not hurt them. Anger rapists want to hurt them, just to get the will to kill something out of their veins, and it's not about sex as much as with the others. Sadistic rapists want to hurt them, because pain turns them on. If the victim cries, a power rapist will either tell them to stop or block it out, anger rapists will hit them, and sadistic rapists will just enjoy it. This is of course all generalization, but it's really important to figure out which one of these your perp is. If you need help, I've found it's always useful to listen to music - the lyrics, that is. Chances are songs in your playlist don't have titles like "This is Why I Rape". But unless you only listen to John Mayer, or emocore, chances are there will be songs in there that sort of hint at similar feelings expressed by your perpetrator. Sometimes they're hidden under titles you wouldn't suspect - for example, Nirvana's "Polly" is much better than "Rape Me" - so you just have to go through your library. However, I swear it helps. It doesn't even have to be a male singer, or about sex. See "Limp" above. The songs I use a lot are:
* "Tear You Apart" - She Wants Revenge. "I want to hold you close, skin pressed against me tight, lie still, close your eyes girl, so lovely, it feels so right/ I want to hold you close, soft breasts, beating heart, as I whisper in your ear: I wanna fucking tear you apart"
* "Stinkfist" - Tool. "Just not enough, I need more, nothing seems to satisfy/ I said, I don't want it, I just need it to breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive/ finger deep within the borderline, show me that you love me and that we belong together (this may hurt a little but it's something you'll get used to)/ relax, turn around, and take my hand"
* "Closer" - Nine Inch Nails. "You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you, you let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you/ help me, I broke apart my insides/ help me, I've got no soul to sell/ help me, the only thing that works for me - help me get away from myself/ I wanna fuck you like an animal, I wanna feel you from the inside, I wanna fuck you like an animal, my whole existence is flawed/ you get me closer to God/ you can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings/ you can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything"
* "Pet" - A Perfect Circle. "Pay no mind what other voices say, they don't care about you like I do/ safe from pain, and truth, and choice, and other poison devils/ see they don't give a fuck about you like I do/ just stay with me, safe and ignorant, go back to sleep"
* "Polly" - Nirvana. "Polly wants a cracker, thinks I should get off her first/ I think she wants some water to put out the blowtorch/ Polly wants a cracker, maybe she would like more food/ asked me to untie her/ a chase would be nice for a few"
* "Break Stuff" - Limp Bizkit. "It's all about the he said she said bullshit/ I think you'd better quit it, let shit slip, or you'll be leaving with a fat lip/ I feel like shit, my suggestion is to keep your distance, cuz right now I'm dangerous/ we've all felt like shit and been treated like shit/ all those motherfuckers, they wanna step up/ I hope you know I'm like a chainsaw, I'll skin your ass raw/ and if my day keeps going this way I just might break your fucking face tonight/ give me something to break"
If you end up accidentally sympathizing with the perpetrator because the music is so good, don't worry - that's a good thing. Try to keep that sympathy in mind when you write, so you're not writing a one-sided rape thriller (will the virginal heroine escape the evil lecher?), so you keep writing about real people. Even if you never write from the perpetrator's perspective, you'll still be writing his actions, and those actions are vastly different depending on his motivation, as are his words, the way he does it, etc., and most importantly perhaps, if he's not going to disappear from the story after this scene, what he does next.
Jason Peleus, for example, is a mix of a power and anger rapist. He wants to claim something, to exert control over it, and to not lose it, because he feels that he's lost everything recently - his father, his rightful position at the head of the Centurion, and now his family heirloom pocket watch. Andromache is thus completely objectified in his eyes, and he doesn't care if he hits her or hurts her. There is no guilt that follows, only a desire to make sure that he really does stake a claim in her, just because he has an investment in her and doesn't want to lose something, again. Rod is, in his one instance of committing sexual assault, a power rapist: he also wants to exert control over something, but whereas Jason Peleus doesn't know Andromache, he has made Nike a target in his mind, a symbol of perfection and beauty, and he doesn't actually want to hurt her - he doesn't want to bring her down so much as raise himself up - and he loves her and actually does value her feelings, so there's no end to the stream of guilt that follows. John Smith is a sadistic rapist. He's a rapist for hire and he gets off on pain, even more than power or sensation, which is why when Nike escapes him the first time he develops an elaborate revenge plot that will put both her and Rod through the most suffering he can imagine.
(Oh, and: I'm not including more specific instructions for the victim's emotion because it seems easier to write, but make sure to read the Language section)
Key 4: Language. This is the worst part, and by worst I mean hardest. It's a judgment call. You must, must, must have the scene flow, language-wise, with the rest of your story. No dramatic tone changes. Don't get weepy if you write like Tom Clancy, don't get graphic if you write like Nicholas Sparks. And watch out for sensuality. It doesn't belong if you're writing from most standard victim perspectives, and if you're writing from the perpetrator perspective, I would advise you not start writing like you're trying to jerk off the reader. And although this is really up to the writer, I would suggest the following corollaries: a) try to have both emotion/thought and action, b) don't use words that you otherwise wouldn't use in the story, c) don't go overboard with listing off implications and consequences, even if you're writing from the victim's perspective - don't just start saying, "and everyone would be so angry and her father might kill himself" - I suggest finding other ways to stress the gravity of the situation, d) try not to use the same words over and over, and e) don't go overboard with cliche words. I know it's hard to avoid, especially if you're uncomfortable writing it - all you want to use is "sob" and "invade" and "force" and "brutal". But then you're not too far from making it a Lifetime movie. I know, I know, you want to make sure everybody knows it's a painful, terrible experience. But I would really urge you not to wax too poetic with the soft tear-felt words. I've always believed it's better in rape scenes to err on the side of graphic than weepy. Rape is violent. It's not like breaking up with a boyfriend. There's something inherently garrish and grotesque about it, and I am of the personal opinion that it's more of an insult to tuck the savagery of it in the shadows than to put it out in the open where the reader can be horrified. Having said that, don't go so far as to make it The Clockwork Orange and glorify the rape. Don't go on and on about the victim's beautiful, voluptuous body. Most of all, don't make it comedic. The only person who can get away with that is Joseph Heller, and him just barely. Just barely. Cormac McCarthy wrote a great scene in... what was it, The Crossing? The narrators come across these two horsemen standing above a little girl, and they're just talking - there's no action at all, because it's implied the action is already done. But you remember it because one of the horsemen says, "If they're old enough to bleed," as justification. Yeah, it's unpleasant and may make you cringe, but it's supposed to. Does the phrase "took advantage of her" make you cringe? Probably not. And you should write it in a way that makes your reader feel the horror, really feel it.
I can't quote it directly, but there was an episode of SVU that sort of shows what I mean. This guy's been murdered, and the girl who found him has just made the claim that he earlier raped her. She says, "I take so many showers over and over and I never feel clean..." and sobs into Detective Stabler's shoulder after talking about how "he used to come into my room". Detective Benson asks what position the body was in, and she stammers and says she doesn't know, then starts crying again. Benson doesn't believe her rape story because it's so full of tropes, and doesn't think it's possible for her to not remember what position the body was in - "that's not the kind of thing you forget". It turns out, indeed, that they had consensual sex, and she got mad that he wasn't taking her on a trip to Thailand or something and flipped out and killed him. The point? Avoid cliched language. Put in the unpleasant stuff, because that's what actually sinks in.
Key 5: Plotting. The nitty-gritty stuff. You may be tempted to bypass most of this completely, but I don't personally think it's a good idea. Writing without detail is generally a bad idea, and although you can stick to the realm of metaphor - like calling a penis a "seal man" - only do this if the rest of your novel is written similarly. Where? How? What? This all depends on the circumstances and the personality/mindset of the perpetrator. Don't be all S&M with handcuffs and whips, ever, unless the rapist is a sadistic rapist, this is extremely pre-meditated, and the perpetrator has experience. If your heroine escapes, make sure to leave her an avenue of escape or make her rescue realistic. Don't stress this point too much, though, because I don't think anybody who doesn't have personal experience can really write about it with complete realism. For the rest of us, unfortunately I would advise seeking out books or movies with realistic rape scenes. Movies are usually safer, just so you avoid ripping off another author because you have no idea how to write the scene and the temptation is just to copy someone else's, because that distances the writing from yourself. But there aren't a lot of movies that do a good job of this - and you can usually tell when it's realistic, even if you have no personal experience. That means no Lifetime, no Beverly Hills 90210. Yes to Law & Order, SVU, and Criminal Intent - those shows are very realistic, unapologetic, no-holds-barred, and there's a reason they have the parental discretion warning at the beginning. However, here's a list of the most realistic rape scenes in movies - and consider this the "don't say I didn't warn you". Don't watch these movies for entertainment or relaxation, consider it part of your research. Yes, I know you don't want to see something like this - but if you want to write a rape scene in a reputable book, I really think you need to. I would add Irreversible to this list, but I haven't seen it. I would, though. There's a 9-minute rape scene that makes most people walk out of the theater and is supposedly extremely gruesome. It might cause an ulcer, but I bet it would help the realism and emotion of a rape scene.
* Bastard Out of Carolina
* House of Spirits
* Crash (2004)
* Visitor Q
* Hero (not House of Flying Daggers)
* Casualties of War
* The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc
* Brasilia 18%
* Oldboy
That's all for now, folks. I leave you with a closing quote on the matter about director Sam Peckinpah's movies, which are often derided as having too much graphic sex and violence. I don't necessarily agree with everything Peckinpah believes about men and women, but I think this reviewer's statement about his beliefs is astute and accurately captures why I have so many rape scenes, and why I'll defend their right to be in my stories till Gabriel blows his trumpets. "Women are raped, Peckinpah asserts, because they can be. Their violation is a weapon in the masculine struggle. An essential point: Peckinpah’s men also violate each other. They simply use bullets to do so. This does not minimize the terrors of sexual violence. The horrendous nature of the act is the root of its effectiveness as a weapon. The profundity of the damage it causes is the source of its importance to the catastrophic struggle. Men, asserts Peckinpah, do not hold back from rape because nothing holds them back. The nihilism of masculine interaction has no boundaries. Everything is permitted. For Peckinpah to have excised rape from his world would have given masculinity a nobility of which it is undeserving. It would have demarcated borders where none exist. It would have turned his tragedies into lies."
