sort your fucking life out, mate!
Aug. 8th, 2009 08:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
intertribal
1. What are your nicknames?
At this point, Nad (my mother). My friends don't call me anything else.
2. What do you do before bedtime?
Brush my teeth, take out my contacts, change, read in bed.
3. What fandom(s) are you most into at the moment?
I've spent the summer basically in the professional tennis fandom. Entertainment-wise, the last one was probably Battlestar Galactica, but that has since died.
4. What is your favorite food?
Sushi is good.
5. What videogames are you playing at the moment?
I don't play videogames. That was not said snobbishly, it's just a fact.
6. What do you eat the most?
Rice.
7. Do you trust easily?
Pretty easily, but it depends on the person, obviously. I think I'm a decent judge of character anyway.
8. What was your first big fandom?
Dragonball Z.
9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
EVERYTHING. More specifically: my life trajectory, how I don't ever like anyone I date/ don't ever meet anyone I'd like to date.
10. Do you have a good body-image?
Yes.
11. What's one childhood item that you still have with you today?
I have a lot of books from childhood, some painted wooden horses, a craptastic picture I made by gluing flower "rhinestones" onto black paper in first grade (possibly the most ridiculously structured art assignment I ever had - the outline was already in place and everything), some stuffed animals, though they're mostly in the basement, photos obviously. I don't ditch my history, man.
12. What websites do you visit daily?
Livejournal, Gmail, NYTimes
13. Who are currently the most important people to you?
My mother, Lindsey, Lucia, my cousin-in-law Debbie, Christina, Lexi, my uncle Imron. That last one is LOL, but true. And I suppose I at least "give a shit about" my Uncle Norm and Cousin Malcolm and Thomas.
14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
No one tagged me.
15. What’s the last song that got stuck in your head?
"Bang Bang Bang Bang" - Sohodolls
16. What’s your favorite item of clothing?
My little black dress, my red peacoat, my black combat boots...
17. What was the last thing you watched on TV?
Andy "I'm-A-Hero!" Roddick playing some unknown tennis player in the L.A. Open. You know, I went through a brief period of sympathy for Roddick. It's gone now. Just because you narrowly lost to Federer does not make you Jesus, dude.
18. What you notice first when meeting a stranger?
Gender.
19. What would you like to achieve within the next 3 years?
There is so much I'd like to achieve in that timespan. Get a real job that has something to do with my field. Apply to grad school, get into grad school. Have a meaningful, long-term relationship. Write Ilium, or at least most of it. Take dancing lesssons.
20. What should you be doing right now?
Submitting this story... that does not yet have a name. Naming said story.
21. Do you always use conditioner when washing your hair?
I never use conditioner.
1. What does your first name mean?
Hope.
2. What does your middle name mean?
My first middle name means Famous Warrior. My second apparently means One Who Came From Hofstetten, a place of farms and manors in Germany. That's better than "horse and settler," I guess.
3. What does your last name mean?
It's my paternal grandfather's first name. I don't know what it means, if anything.
4. So what does your name mean when put together?
Hopeful, Famous Warrior from Hofstetten.
5. What would you have been named if you were the opposite gender?
I don't think my parents started thinking of names until after they knew my gender.
6. Any other name oddities?
My name means "hope" because my mother was told while she was pregnant with me that I had "broken chromosomes" and that I would, obviously, not be viable. So I'm named for her hope that I would survive (I don't have broken chromosomes, obviously). This is something that my mother didn't really want me to know, but my Uncle Norm told me this on the way to school, because he's a good bloke like that. Also, my mother was living in the U.S. alone when she was dealing with all the broken chromosome shit, so she called my dad all freaked out about "there's something wrong with the baby," and he said, "What?! It doesn't have a nose?!" Because apparently that was the most horrible birth defect he could think of. My dad was a funny guy.
7. Do you like your name?
Sure.
8. What do you like best about it?
It fits in just about everywhere. Slavs and Russians and Arabs fight over claiming it, which is hilarious.
9. What do you like least about it?
My last name is pretty dumb. If I had my paternal grandfather's last name, like Western tradition would have it, my last name would be Rasyid. Which I think would have been hot as fuck.
10. If you had to change your name (witness protection program, whatever), what would you want it to be?
I don't know. I might switch to Natalie, because a lot of people in the Midwest misremember me as Natalie.
The Shoes You Wore Today:
Black and "tatami mat" flip-flops. I don't know what else to call them. I think my regular flip-flops have been contaminated by staph and need to quarantined.
Your Weakness:
Crawling ghosts?
Your Fears:
Crawling ghosts?
Your Perfect Pizza:
I like the Hawaiian. I also like white pizza.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:
Sort my fucking life out.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:
LOL, probably.
Thoughts First Waking Up:
Fuck my life.
Your Best Physical Feature:
I have nice legs. Ha ha ha.
Your Bedtime:
Between 1 and 2 a.m., usually.
Your Most Missed Memory:
I don't understand this question.
Pepsi or Coke:
Don't drink pop.
MacDonalds or Burger King:
Ugh. Burger King, I guess.
Single or Group Dates:
Single. I don't get how the group thing would work unless everybody was old and settled.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:
Lipton.
Chocolate or Vanilla:
Chocolate.
Cappuccino or Coffee:
Coffee.
Do you Smoke:
No.
Do you Swear:
Fuck yeah.
Do you Sing:
Yes.
Do you Shower Daily:
Nope. Oh, blasphemy!
Have you Been in Love:
I don't think so. I'm not sure. Isn't that subjective?
Do you want to get Married:
Yes.
Do you belive in yourself:
Meh.
Do you get Motion Sickness:
Yeah. In fact, I can induce it at will! Mostly airsick, though, which is why I a) can never be a flight attendant, and b) don't get on a plane or a boat without Dramamine.
Do you think you are Attractive:
I'm all right, in my opinion.
Are you a Health Freak:
No.
Do you get along with your Parents:
Yes.
Do you like Thunderstorms:
They make me glad to be indoors. Other than that, I'm indifferent, except for the time one fried my computer and gave me the blue screen of death. Yes, kids, it can happen.
Do you play an Instrument:
I used to play the piano. I could probably still muster it.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:
"When am I drinking? As soon as I'm done here." - Lost in Translation
In the past month have you Smoked:
No.
In the past month have you been on Drugs:
No.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:
I haven't eaten Oreos in a long time.
In the past month have you been Dumped:
No. I did the dumping.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:
No.
Ever been Drunk:
Yes. Last time was a couple years ago, though. Nowadays I strive for that nice zone between "tipsy" and "floopy." The drunk thing holds little appeal for me these days.
Ever been called a Tease:
... Yes.
Ever been Beaten up:
No.
Ever Shoplifted:
No.
How do you want to Die:
I have a long list of ways I DON'T want to die: a) murder, b) plane crash, c) some horrible terminal illness, d) fire, e) eaten by grizzly bears, f) in space (unlikely), g) buried alive, h) starvation. What does that leave? Old age? Getting run over by a car? Bungee-diving accident? Drowned in molasses?
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:
Fuck if I know.
What planet would you most like to Visit:
Europa has been my homegirl since middle school. Before the big Europa craze. Okay, maybe not. But we have a long and established bond! Oh wait, Europa's not a planet. Fuck. Guess I'll stay home.
Also, I just realized all these questions need question marks. A colon it the place of a question mark?
That is not grammatically correct.
Do you think it's a sign of weakness to cry?
No.
If you could stop time at any moment in your life, what would you be doing when you stopped it?
It would be pretty irrelevant, since all time would be stopped. Seriously, are these questions thought through?
Do your parents still treat you as though you are a child?
No, although it's touch-and-go.
Would you ever consider changing your sex?
Like my icon says, "I enjoy being a girl."
What's your most important possesion?
My laptop. Unless you count brains and things, but those aren't really possessions.
Would you want to live forever?
No.
Are you a violent person?
Not in person. But my imagination's a different story.
What's your favorite store at your local mall?
New York & Company. Yeah, yeah.
Are you craving anything right now?
The rest of my ice cream.
What's one thing you do now that you said you would never do?
There are very few things I have said I would "never" do. I still don't own a single piece of clothing from Tommy Hilfiger. Yes, they will start feeling the effects of my eleven-year boycott anytime now!
How did you get your last bruise?
I don't have any bruises currently. Probably banging some limb on something solid and immovable.
Are you allowed to eat in your room?
There aren't rules in my house, but I don't eat in my room.
Would you dye some of your hair a bright color if it was guaranteed to look good?
Yes, probably.
Is your cell phone always glued to your hand?
No.
Does it bother you when people mimic you?
No, but I have to say this is rare.
Would you rather have sex on the beach or drink the drink “sex on the beach”?
Funny story, I tried "sex on the beach" the drink very recently and I really liked it! I love me my fruity little drinks, cuz I can't shoot whiskey. So either.
What do you think the best cure for a hangover is?
Water, salt, shower, and coffee.
How many windows do you have open currently?
Several, but they all have screens.
Do you like short, medium, or long hair?
Medium, but other people would call it long. It's a couple inches below my shoulders.
Are you single, taken, married, or none of the above?
Single. FML.
What's the longest amount of time you've ever made out with someone?
I don't know. Fifteen minutes? Lame question.
Would you like to lose weight?
About 5 lb. would be ok. I would like to get down to 120 again, just to see how it looks. I'm not very invested in this, though.
What are you doing this weekend?
It's already halfway through the weekend.
What's your favorite cake flavor?
I am a sucker for red velvet, I'll tell you what.
What's your worst habit?
Out of the seven deadly sins, I am way up in the Wrath and Pride. Low on everything else. Except Envy.
You're in the Sonic drive-thru. What do you order?
I don't know, I've never eaten at Sonic.
What's your biggest pet peeve?
Incompetence. I lived in New York long enough to figure that one out, at least.
What are you doing tonight?
Titling that fucking story, hopefully.
What's on your mind?
Nothing I'd like to share.
Is there somebody that you really like?
Define your terms! Define your terms!
Do you sleep with the door open or closed?
Open, always open, always, always, for the love of God, open. I am like fuckin' Phineas Fogg with my bedtime rituals.
Do you drink tea?
Yes, primarily iced and sweet. Like a Southerner. Or a Southeast Asian.
What's worse: dry skin or chapped lips?
Chapped lips.
Last person you told a secret to?
?
Has anyone cried on your shoulder recently?
Yes, long-distance.
What are you listening to at the moment?
"Holiday" by The Birthday Massacre. Good band, discovered through Pandora.
Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
Yes.
Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
No one has that sort of capacity for anyone, anywhere in the world. Everybody's in a bad mood sometime.
Be honest, who is the easiest person in your life to talk to?
My cat, Brownie. Oh, wait, person. It depends on what. In some ways, my cousin-in-law Debbie.
Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to?
My mother.
When was the last time you were in a very good mood?
Can't remember.
Is there someone you'd really like to hang out with and just talk about stuff?
My friends would suffice.
Are you happy with the choices you've made?
Reasonably. Not entirely.
Are you excited for anything?
No, which is part of my overall problem.
What were you doing last night at midnight?
I went to bed early and was asleep.
Would you be able to date someone who doesn't make you laugh?
No.
Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you?
No.
Would you say that you are emotionally strong?
Yes, actually.
What was the reason for you throwing up last time?
Appendicitis!
What’s more important, trust or happiness?
Trust in what?
If you had a chance to kill the person you took this survey from, would you?
No. This is an insane question.
What was the last thing you drank?
Seagrams Strawberry Daiquiri.
Last person you hugged?
My mother.
Have you ever felt like you literally needed someone?
Yes.
What do you want more than anything in this world?
If I knew, I'd tell ya, survey.
Last time you felt physical pain?
Appendicitis! Discounting the occasional stubbed toe, staph infection, etc. Ok, it's been a bad summer medically for me.
Last time you felt emotional pain?
Uh...
Do you miss anyone from your past?
Yo, obvious answer approaching: my dad.
Do you hate anyone?
No. Andy Murray? No, I guess not.
Anything you would change about your life right now?
See that list of things I want to accomplish in the next three years.
When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
This very afternoon!
Is the last person you hugged older than you?
My mother.
Do you think you have made anyone happy recently?
I don't know
Do you think you will ever be married?
Boy, I hope so.
Do you want to see somebody right now?
Not really.
What were you doing at 8 this morning?
Taking my cat to the vet for a glucose check. She's slightly down from two weeks ago! Yes!
Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
Yes, of course. I feel sorry for anyone who hasn't.
Is there anyone you would do anything for?
Um, I'm not sure. Probably not, though. I don't think that situation should come up, in good relationships. Although I bet parents are supposed to say "my children" for this question. Still, the parent pretty much defines the life for the child, so I think it doesn't apply even there.
Your phone rings, what do you say?
Hello?
Does anyone completely understand you?
No.
Do you believe you can change someone?
I believe people can change. I'm not a fan of "human projects," though.
Last night you felt?
Can't remember. Sleepy, apparently.
Like anyone right now?
No.
What were you doing at 4 AM?
Sleeping. Having an annoying dream where I was walking around downtown with my uncle. Norm, not Imron. The one I like less.
Do you like your handwriting?
Yes.
Are you one of those kids that cut their hair by themselves when they were younger?
No. I had hair down to my waist, actually.
Has anyone upset you in the last week?
Probably.
Would you ever dye your hair blonde?
No, because it would look terrible on my skin tone.
When was the last time you were unhappy with your life?
Yeah, dumb question, because the answer is ALL the TIME. Ha ha ha.
Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever?
Dear God No.
Are you nice to everyone?
No. But I'm not out-of-my-way mean, either.
Have you ever slept in the same bed as your friends?
Yes.
Could you ever be friends with someone who hurt you badly?
No. Recent discovery!
Do you have plans for the weekend?
This is the weekend.
Who in your phone has a heart after their name?
No one.
Has anyone made you feel like crap lately for something they did?
Well, not lately.
Do you trust all your friends?
Yes, otherwise they wouldn't be my friends. Come on now.
You doing anything fun today?
Yes.
At this point, Nad (my mother). My friends don't call me anything else.
2. What do you do before bedtime?
Brush my teeth, take out my contacts, change, read in bed.
3. What fandom(s) are you most into at the moment?
I've spent the summer basically in the professional tennis fandom. Entertainment-wise, the last one was probably Battlestar Galactica, but that has since died.
4. What is your favorite food?
Sushi is good.
5. What videogames are you playing at the moment?
I don't play videogames. That was not said snobbishly, it's just a fact.
6. What do you eat the most?
Rice.
7. Do you trust easily?
Pretty easily, but it depends on the person, obviously. I think I'm a decent judge of character anyway.
8. What was your first big fandom?
Dragonball Z.
9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
EVERYTHING. More specifically: my life trajectory, how I don't ever like anyone I date/ don't ever meet anyone I'd like to date.
10. Do you have a good body-image?
Yes.
11. What's one childhood item that you still have with you today?
I have a lot of books from childhood, some painted wooden horses, a craptastic picture I made by gluing flower "rhinestones" onto black paper in first grade (possibly the most ridiculously structured art assignment I ever had - the outline was already in place and everything), some stuffed animals, though they're mostly in the basement, photos obviously. I don't ditch my history, man.
12. What websites do you visit daily?
Livejournal, Gmail, NYTimes
13. Who are currently the most important people to you?
My mother, Lindsey, Lucia, my cousin-in-law Debbie, Christina, Lexi, my uncle Imron. That last one is LOL, but true. And I suppose I at least "give a shit about" my Uncle Norm and Cousin Malcolm and Thomas.
14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
No one tagged me.
15. What’s the last song that got stuck in your head?
"Bang Bang Bang Bang" - Sohodolls
16. What’s your favorite item of clothing?
My little black dress, my red peacoat, my black combat boots...
17. What was the last thing you watched on TV?
Andy "I'm-A-Hero!" Roddick playing some unknown tennis player in the L.A. Open. You know, I went through a brief period of sympathy for Roddick. It's gone now. Just because you narrowly lost to Federer does not make you Jesus, dude.
18. What you notice first when meeting a stranger?
Gender.
19. What would you like to achieve within the next 3 years?
There is so much I'd like to achieve in that timespan. Get a real job that has something to do with my field. Apply to grad school, get into grad school. Have a meaningful, long-term relationship. Write Ilium, or at least most of it. Take dancing lesssons.
20. What should you be doing right now?
Submitting this story... that does not yet have a name. Naming said story.
21. Do you always use conditioner when washing your hair?
I never use conditioner.
1. What does your first name mean?
Hope.
2. What does your middle name mean?
My first middle name means Famous Warrior. My second apparently means One Who Came From Hofstetten, a place of farms and manors in Germany. That's better than "horse and settler," I guess.
3. What does your last name mean?
It's my paternal grandfather's first name. I don't know what it means, if anything.
4. So what does your name mean when put together?
Hopeful, Famous Warrior from Hofstetten.
5. What would you have been named if you were the opposite gender?
I don't think my parents started thinking of names until after they knew my gender.
6. Any other name oddities?
My name means "hope" because my mother was told while she was pregnant with me that I had "broken chromosomes" and that I would, obviously, not be viable. So I'm named for her hope that I would survive (I don't have broken chromosomes, obviously). This is something that my mother didn't really want me to know, but my Uncle Norm told me this on the way to school, because he's a good bloke like that. Also, my mother was living in the U.S. alone when she was dealing with all the broken chromosome shit, so she called my dad all freaked out about "there's something wrong with the baby," and he said, "What?! It doesn't have a nose?!" Because apparently that was the most horrible birth defect he could think of. My dad was a funny guy.
7. Do you like your name?
Sure.
8. What do you like best about it?
It fits in just about everywhere. Slavs and Russians and Arabs fight over claiming it, which is hilarious.
9. What do you like least about it?
My last name is pretty dumb. If I had my paternal grandfather's last name, like Western tradition would have it, my last name would be Rasyid. Which I think would have been hot as fuck.
10. If you had to change your name (witness protection program, whatever), what would you want it to be?
I don't know. I might switch to Natalie, because a lot of people in the Midwest misremember me as Natalie.
The Shoes You Wore Today:
Black and "tatami mat" flip-flops. I don't know what else to call them. I think my regular flip-flops have been contaminated by staph and need to quarantined.
Your Weakness:
Crawling ghosts?
Your Fears:
Crawling ghosts?
Your Perfect Pizza:
I like the Hawaiian. I also like white pizza.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:
Sort my fucking life out.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:
LOL, probably.
Thoughts First Waking Up:
Fuck my life.
Your Best Physical Feature:
I have nice legs. Ha ha ha.
Your Bedtime:
Between 1 and 2 a.m., usually.
Your Most Missed Memory:
I don't understand this question.
Pepsi or Coke:
Don't drink pop.
MacDonalds or Burger King:
Ugh. Burger King, I guess.
Single or Group Dates:
Single. I don't get how the group thing would work unless everybody was old and settled.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:
Lipton.
Chocolate or Vanilla:
Chocolate.
Cappuccino or Coffee:
Coffee.
Do you Smoke:
No.
Do you Swear:
Fuck yeah.
Do you Sing:
Yes.
Do you Shower Daily:
Nope. Oh, blasphemy!
Have you Been in Love:
I don't think so. I'm not sure. Isn't that subjective?
Do you want to get Married:
Yes.
Do you belive in yourself:
Meh.
Do you get Motion Sickness:
Yeah. In fact, I can induce it at will! Mostly airsick, though, which is why I a) can never be a flight attendant, and b) don't get on a plane or a boat without Dramamine.
Do you think you are Attractive:
I'm all right, in my opinion.
Are you a Health Freak:
No.
Do you get along with your Parents:
Yes.
Do you like Thunderstorms:
They make me glad to be indoors. Other than that, I'm indifferent, except for the time one fried my computer and gave me the blue screen of death. Yes, kids, it can happen.
Do you play an Instrument:
I used to play the piano. I could probably still muster it.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:
"When am I drinking? As soon as I'm done here." - Lost in Translation
In the past month have you Smoked:
No.
In the past month have you been on Drugs:
No.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:
I haven't eaten Oreos in a long time.
In the past month have you been Dumped:
No. I did the dumping.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:
No.
Ever been Drunk:
Yes. Last time was a couple years ago, though. Nowadays I strive for that nice zone between "tipsy" and "floopy." The drunk thing holds little appeal for me these days.
Ever been called a Tease:
... Yes.
Ever been Beaten up:
No.
Ever Shoplifted:
No.
How do you want to Die:
I have a long list of ways I DON'T want to die: a) murder, b) plane crash, c) some horrible terminal illness, d) fire, e) eaten by grizzly bears, f) in space (unlikely), g) buried alive, h) starvation. What does that leave? Old age? Getting run over by a car? Bungee-diving accident? Drowned in molasses?
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:
Fuck if I know.
What planet would you most like to Visit:
Europa has been my homegirl since middle school. Before the big Europa craze. Okay, maybe not. But we have a long and established bond! Oh wait, Europa's not a planet. Fuck. Guess I'll stay home.
Also, I just realized all these questions need question marks. A colon it the place of a question mark?
That is not grammatically correct.
Do you think it's a sign of weakness to cry?
No.
If you could stop time at any moment in your life, what would you be doing when you stopped it?
It would be pretty irrelevant, since all time would be stopped. Seriously, are these questions thought through?
Do your parents still treat you as though you are a child?
No, although it's touch-and-go.
Would you ever consider changing your sex?
Like my icon says, "I enjoy being a girl."
What's your most important possesion?
My laptop. Unless you count brains and things, but those aren't really possessions.
Would you want to live forever?
No.
Are you a violent person?
Not in person. But my imagination's a different story.
What's your favorite store at your local mall?
New York & Company. Yeah, yeah.
Are you craving anything right now?
The rest of my ice cream.
What's one thing you do now that you said you would never do?
There are very few things I have said I would "never" do. I still don't own a single piece of clothing from Tommy Hilfiger. Yes, they will start feeling the effects of my eleven-year boycott anytime now!
How did you get your last bruise?
I don't have any bruises currently. Probably banging some limb on something solid and immovable.
Are you allowed to eat in your room?
There aren't rules in my house, but I don't eat in my room.
Would you dye some of your hair a bright color if it was guaranteed to look good?
Yes, probably.
Is your cell phone always glued to your hand?
No.
Does it bother you when people mimic you?
No, but I have to say this is rare.
Would you rather have sex on the beach or drink the drink “sex on the beach”?
Funny story, I tried "sex on the beach" the drink very recently and I really liked it! I love me my fruity little drinks, cuz I can't shoot whiskey. So either.
What do you think the best cure for a hangover is?
Water, salt, shower, and coffee.
How many windows do you have open currently?
Several, but they all have screens.
Do you like short, medium, or long hair?
Medium, but other people would call it long. It's a couple inches below my shoulders.
Are you single, taken, married, or none of the above?
Single. FML.
What's the longest amount of time you've ever made out with someone?
I don't know. Fifteen minutes? Lame question.
Would you like to lose weight?
About 5 lb. would be ok. I would like to get down to 120 again, just to see how it looks. I'm not very invested in this, though.
What are you doing this weekend?
It's already halfway through the weekend.
What's your favorite cake flavor?
I am a sucker for red velvet, I'll tell you what.
What's your worst habit?
Out of the seven deadly sins, I am way up in the Wrath and Pride. Low on everything else. Except Envy.
You're in the Sonic drive-thru. What do you order?
I don't know, I've never eaten at Sonic.
What's your biggest pet peeve?
Incompetence. I lived in New York long enough to figure that one out, at least.
What are you doing tonight?
Titling that fucking story, hopefully.
What's on your mind?
Nothing I'd like to share.
Is there somebody that you really like?
Define your terms! Define your terms!
Do you sleep with the door open or closed?
Open, always open, always, always, for the love of God, open. I am like fuckin' Phineas Fogg with my bedtime rituals.
Do you drink tea?
Yes, primarily iced and sweet. Like a Southerner. Or a Southeast Asian.
What's worse: dry skin or chapped lips?
Chapped lips.
Last person you told a secret to?
?
Has anyone cried on your shoulder recently?
Yes, long-distance.
What are you listening to at the moment?
"Holiday" by The Birthday Massacre. Good band, discovered through Pandora.
Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
Yes.
Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
No one has that sort of capacity for anyone, anywhere in the world. Everybody's in a bad mood sometime.
Be honest, who is the easiest person in your life to talk to?
My cat, Brownie. Oh, wait, person. It depends on what. In some ways, my cousin-in-law Debbie.
Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to?
My mother.
When was the last time you were in a very good mood?
Can't remember.
Is there someone you'd really like to hang out with and just talk about stuff?
My friends would suffice.
Are you happy with the choices you've made?
Reasonably. Not entirely.
Are you excited for anything?
No, which is part of my overall problem.
What were you doing last night at midnight?
I went to bed early and was asleep.
Would you be able to date someone who doesn't make you laugh?
No.
Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you?
No.
Would you say that you are emotionally strong?
Yes, actually.
What was the reason for you throwing up last time?
Appendicitis!
What’s more important, trust or happiness?
Trust in what?
If you had a chance to kill the person you took this survey from, would you?
No. This is an insane question.
What was the last thing you drank?
Seagrams Strawberry Daiquiri.
Last person you hugged?
My mother.
Have you ever felt like you literally needed someone?
Yes.
What do you want more than anything in this world?
If I knew, I'd tell ya, survey.
Last time you felt physical pain?
Appendicitis! Discounting the occasional stubbed toe, staph infection, etc. Ok, it's been a bad summer medically for me.
Last time you felt emotional pain?
Uh...
Do you miss anyone from your past?
Yo, obvious answer approaching: my dad.
Do you hate anyone?
No. Andy Murray? No, I guess not.
Anything you would change about your life right now?
See that list of things I want to accomplish in the next three years.
When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
This very afternoon!
Is the last person you hugged older than you?
My mother.
Do you think you have made anyone happy recently?
I don't know
Do you think you will ever be married?
Boy, I hope so.
Do you want to see somebody right now?
Not really.
What were you doing at 8 this morning?
Taking my cat to the vet for a glucose check. She's slightly down from two weeks ago! Yes!
Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
Yes, of course. I feel sorry for anyone who hasn't.
Is there anyone you would do anything for?
Um, I'm not sure. Probably not, though. I don't think that situation should come up, in good relationships. Although I bet parents are supposed to say "my children" for this question. Still, the parent pretty much defines the life for the child, so I think it doesn't apply even there.
Your phone rings, what do you say?
Hello?
Does anyone completely understand you?
No.
Do you believe you can change someone?
I believe people can change. I'm not a fan of "human projects," though.
Last night you felt?
Can't remember. Sleepy, apparently.
Like anyone right now?
No.
What were you doing at 4 AM?
Sleeping. Having an annoying dream where I was walking around downtown with my uncle. Norm, not Imron. The one I like less.
Do you like your handwriting?
Yes.
Are you one of those kids that cut their hair by themselves when they were younger?
No. I had hair down to my waist, actually.
Has anyone upset you in the last week?
Probably.
Would you ever dye your hair blonde?
No, because it would look terrible on my skin tone.
When was the last time you were unhappy with your life?
Yeah, dumb question, because the answer is ALL the TIME. Ha ha ha.
Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever?
Dear God No.
Are you nice to everyone?
No. But I'm not out-of-my-way mean, either.
Have you ever slept in the same bed as your friends?
Yes.
Could you ever be friends with someone who hurt you badly?
No. Recent discovery!
Do you have plans for the weekend?
This is the weekend.
Who in your phone has a heart after their name?
No one.
Has anyone made you feel like crap lately for something they did?
Well, not lately.
Do you trust all your friends?
Yes, otherwise they wouldn't be my friends. Come on now.
You doing anything fun today?
Yes.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 05:46 am (UTC)Well, then, don't write, if you're all mopey about it. Go do something else.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 05:52 am (UTC)I can't. It's "the only dream I ever have." It would be easier if it wasn't, but it's never been a choice for me. It's the only thing I enjoy doing. But I feel like it conflicts so much with what I know would be healthier for me. Writing IS mopey for me. I've always had a love/hate relationship with writing. It has been a cause of great angst in my life.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 06:19 am (UTC)Does your mother think that of you? And why do you care what the rest of your family thinks?
Having relationships has nothing to do with fitting in. I don't function socially, and Santiago and Josie aren't exactly people I could date to fit in with anybody I might want to fit in with. But it doesn't matter anyway. It's not like being in relationships scores you points or something. It just makes you jaded and miserable.
It is a choice. Maybe if you chose something else, you wouldn't be 'you' anymore, but it's the life you choose to lead. I want what I want because any other life seems meaningless to me, would give me no reason to get up in the morning, etc., and so how can I complain? I obviously don't want that other life, so if I don't get recognition and approval for the one I choose, well, that's part of the choice I made. I feel it's more of a choice between that or suicide, personally, but I don't usually say things like that because it sounds so much like I want attention and pity, when I don't. That's what I want in my life, and I'm willing to stand up for it, even if I feel ashamed when other people don't understand, even when I feel like I'm a failure at the only thing that matters.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 06:36 am (UTC)No, because my mother wants me to stay at home and be her little girl forever and ever, because as she points out she is miserable when I'm not at home.
I wouldn't be able to function without writing or thinking about writing. Or maybe I could - I haven't tried. However, I'm not sure it's because any other life seems meaningless to me. It's because it's the thing I enjoy doing the most, and it feels as much a part of me as breathing. I feel compelled more than anything else. What I have to choose between is how much of my life I want to devote to writing, because 100% isn't possible. 0% also isn't possible. It's not fear that I won't get recognition or approval that's the down side of writing for me.
It's the fact that writing is such a solitary activity. Most people don't even travel to write like you can travel to study things like dance (taking my mother as an example). It's all that being-trapped-in-your-own-head-ness. That kind of thing fucks with me, which is why I need a day job and a life if I want to write.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 07:13 am (UTC)Yeah, that's creepy/unhealthy.
I wish it were that effortless for me (I don't even know what to call it. not writing, exactly. philosophy?). I mean, it is, but I get in the way of myself in other ways, which can make me feel pretty worthless. You're lucky.
Good luck.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 07:19 am (UTC)I suppose. But she really does have no one else. If she had my dad it would be easier, then I think the both of us could stop wishing for our past life in Indonesia with him.
Well, it's not like I don't have to work at it to make it good. It's more that I can't stop telling stories. It creeps into everything else I do. But yeah, I guess there are challenges to whatever it is you're called to do. Thanks. You too.