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intertribalWell, Oklahoma choked.
Again.
Five straight losses in BCS bowls. Thanks for making the Big 12 look strong, Oklahoma! This means the Big 12 South (Oklahoma, Texas, Texas Tech, Oklahoma State) - which everyone thinks is oh so tough, the best half-conference in America - had only one winner out of the four teams they sent to bowl games, and that was Texas. Gag me, I know. The poor pathetic little Big 12 North (Nebraska, Kansas, Missouri) - which won all three of their bowl games - really appreciates the stellar effort y'all put into this one, Sooners. Highlights include not being able to score from literally the 1-yard line twice and missing your only field goal attempt. Stoops needs a lesson in prepping his teams for bowl games, because he's obviously doing something wrong.
Note to Stoops and everyone else on the planet: STOP POSING WITH THE MILITARY. It didn't work for Bush, it won't work for you.
Which means Florida won, and the sports analysis world will now begin prostrating themselves all over the place. Not only will we be hearing about how the SEC is like the new Roger Federer of college football (and I love you, Roger, but for a while there no one could touch you, so forgive me for comparing you to the SEC), but we'll be hearing non-stop about Jesus.
That's right. Jesus. He's back. Have you heard? He's going by the name Tim Tebow. He's in disguise as the quarterback of the Florida Gators. Because as we all know, God (?) gives so much of a shit about football.
Not an accurate representation of how Jesus, if he exists, spends his time.
You know how I said the Colt McCoy ejaculation made me nauseous? Well, this was just... stupendous waterfalls of praise, let me put it that way. Basically, human words could not describe the wonder that is Tim Tebow and his missionary ways. Because what's funny is that's all the commentators have really got as far as evidence supporting their claim that Tebow is the second coming of Christ - his parents are missionaries in the Philippines, he was home-schooled, and he promises to work harder than anyone on the planet. With cut rates like that, boys and girls, we can all be Jesus.
Some gems from the Life in the Red blog, re: Tim Tebow. When we're not biting our chubby cornfed fingers off worrying about Nebraska, Husker fans can actually be pretty funny.
- Tebow, we are not worthy.
- These announcers have a little Tebow on their lips after... well, you get the picture.
- Wow - Tim Tebow went from one of the top 10 college football players of all time to the Top 5 in about 3 seconds.
- what the world savior got an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. The apocalypse is upon us...run for your lives!!
- who do these refs think they are calling an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty on the god that walks our earth.
- The travels of Tim Tebow and his attempt to save the world.
- Seriously, if they call him superman one more time, I may have to throw my laptop into my plasma!
- If I have to hear "Tim Tebow" one more time from these announcers... agh! College students could have one hell of a drinking game if they chugged every time they heard it. Geez give it up!
- Well if Tebow wins I expect the media to proclaim him the savior of mankind and break out into a verse of we are the world...that right there is worth staying tuned in for.
- What's the link for "We are the World", I want to know the words so I can sing along with my lighter.
- Will Tebow save the college football world from slipping into laziness..stay tuned.
- He's the only one with a good work ethic, just ask anyone.
- if Tebow wins and asks for a playoff, will we get one???
- No but we might get a Tebow scratch and sniff doll. So that everyone else on the planet can smell what sweat equity is from working harder than anyone else on the planet.
- If Tebow's the only one with all the work ethic and sweat and so on, isn't it just his personal National Championship? Does he have to share with his team?
- No he will share it with them because he pushed them...they were all lazy bastards until he cracked the whip...but he don't mind sharing with them, he's the only reason they are there but he's not selfish or anything. Everybody else is lazy, I have to work harder and make those lazy bastards work harder because they are getting in the way of my personal goals.
and the winner...
- who's Tebow?
Again.
Five straight losses in BCS bowls. Thanks for making the Big 12 look strong, Oklahoma! This means the Big 12 South (Oklahoma, Texas, Texas Tech, Oklahoma State) - which everyone thinks is oh so tough, the best half-conference in America - had only one winner out of the four teams they sent to bowl games, and that was Texas. Gag me, I know. The poor pathetic little Big 12 North (Nebraska, Kansas, Missouri) - which won all three of their bowl games - really appreciates the stellar effort y'all put into this one, Sooners. Highlights include not being able to score from literally the 1-yard line twice and missing your only field goal attempt. Stoops needs a lesson in prepping his teams for bowl games, because he's obviously doing something wrong.
Note to Stoops and everyone else on the planet: STOP POSING WITH THE MILITARY. It didn't work for Bush, it won't work for you.
Which means Florida won, and the sports analysis world will now begin prostrating themselves all over the place. Not only will we be hearing about how the SEC is like the new Roger Federer of college football (and I love you, Roger, but for a while there no one could touch you, so forgive me for comparing you to the SEC), but we'll be hearing non-stop about Jesus.
That's right. Jesus. He's back. Have you heard? He's going by the name Tim Tebow. He's in disguise as the quarterback of the Florida Gators. Because as we all know, God (?) gives so much of a shit about football.
Not an accurate representation of how Jesus, if he exists, spends his time.
You know how I said the Colt McCoy ejaculation made me nauseous? Well, this was just... stupendous waterfalls of praise, let me put it that way. Basically, human words could not describe the wonder that is Tim Tebow and his missionary ways. Because what's funny is that's all the commentators have really got as far as evidence supporting their claim that Tebow is the second coming of Christ - his parents are missionaries in the Philippines, he was home-schooled, and he promises to work harder than anyone on the planet. With cut rates like that, boys and girls, we can all be Jesus.
"King Herod's Song" - Jesus Christ Superstar (1973)
Some gems from the Life in the Red blog, re: Tim Tebow. When we're not biting our chubby cornfed fingers off worrying about Nebraska, Husker fans can actually be pretty funny.
- Tebow, we are not worthy.
- These announcers have a little Tebow on their lips after... well, you get the picture.
- Wow - Tim Tebow went from one of the top 10 college football players of all time to the Top 5 in about 3 seconds.
- what the world savior got an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. The apocalypse is upon us...run for your lives!!
- who do these refs think they are calling an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty on the god that walks our earth.
- The travels of Tim Tebow and his attempt to save the world.
- Seriously, if they call him superman one more time, I may have to throw my laptop into my plasma!
- If I have to hear "Tim Tebow" one more time from these announcers... agh! College students could have one hell of a drinking game if they chugged every time they heard it. Geez give it up!
- Well if Tebow wins I expect the media to proclaim him the savior of mankind and break out into a verse of we are the world...that right there is worth staying tuned in for.
- What's the link for "We are the World", I want to know the words so I can sing along with my lighter.
- Will Tebow save the college football world from slipping into laziness..stay tuned.
- He's the only one with a good work ethic, just ask anyone.
- if Tebow wins and asks for a playoff, will we get one???
- No but we might get a Tebow scratch and sniff doll. So that everyone else on the planet can smell what sweat equity is from working harder than anyone else on the planet.
- If Tebow's the only one with all the work ethic and sweat and so on, isn't it just his personal National Championship? Does he have to share with his team?
- No he will share it with them because he pushed them...they were all lazy bastards until he cracked the whip...but he don't mind sharing with them, he's the only reason they are there but he's not selfish or anything. Everybody else is lazy, I have to work harder and make those lazy bastards work harder because they are getting in the way of my personal goals.
and the winner...
- who's Tebow?
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no subject
Date: 2009-01-09 01:36 pm (UTC)(although I have to admit, I hate oklahoma...you're spot on with the Tebow worship)
no subject
Date: 2009-01-09 02:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-09 02:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-09 02:12 pm (UTC)the same pattern goes for Colt McCoy, see, but it's not as excessive, probably because McCoy just goes to Campus Life but not actual mission trips.