dragons, bitches!
Dec. 15th, 2006 02:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
intertribalSo the "Eragon" movie just came out, you know, the one based on the boy-and-his-dragon book written by Christopher "I-Write-Sins-Not-Tragedies" Paolini. Let's see if my hatred for this franchise is going to be validated.
Here's excerpts from the New York Times review.
"Directed by the wonderfully named Stefen Fangmeier, “Eragon” boasts the usual genre lineup: an evil king (John Malkovich), a whey-faced hero (Ed Speleers) and a serene warrior-maiden (Sienna Guillory), as well as the required rebel hordes and bucolic landscapes. A hint of the exotic is provided by a dreadlocked Djimon Hounsou — who seems to be phoning in his lines from a booth in the Bahamas — while the marvelous Scottish actor Robert Carlyle, playing a steadily decomposing wizard, hisses incantations from a mouth resembling a nicotine-stained graveyard.
The film’s few moments of hilarity are no less welcome for being completely unintended (the young hero’s heavy-breathing romp with a strapping male cousin could only have been envisioned by someone completely lacking in subtext radar), though “Into the sky, to win or die!” doesn’t have quite the same mythic flair as “One Ring to Rule Them All.” And if some of the characters won’t be returning for the sequel, no matter. In all likelihood, neither will the audience."
Here's more - not quite as civilized as the austere New York Times:
http://www.aznightbuzz.com/stories/160260.php
http://www.variety.com/review/VE1117932309.html?categoryid=31&cs=1
http://www.startribune.com/1553/story/875752.html
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/eragon/
Just to be even, though, here's one of the few positive reviews at rottentomatoes.com, from (surprise, surprise!) The Wall Street Journal, which we already know is wrong on important things like politics:
"magically and sumptuously detailed".
Greaaaat, Wall Street Journal. This apparently earned "Eragon" a "thumbs-up".
Boy, am I hateful.
Here's excerpts from the New York Times review.
"Directed by the wonderfully named Stefen Fangmeier, “Eragon” boasts the usual genre lineup: an evil king (John Malkovich), a whey-faced hero (Ed Speleers) and a serene warrior-maiden (Sienna Guillory), as well as the required rebel hordes and bucolic landscapes. A hint of the exotic is provided by a dreadlocked Djimon Hounsou — who seems to be phoning in his lines from a booth in the Bahamas — while the marvelous Scottish actor Robert Carlyle, playing a steadily decomposing wizard, hisses incantations from a mouth resembling a nicotine-stained graveyard.
The film’s few moments of hilarity are no less welcome for being completely unintended (the young hero’s heavy-breathing romp with a strapping male cousin could only have been envisioned by someone completely lacking in subtext radar), though “Into the sky, to win or die!” doesn’t have quite the same mythic flair as “One Ring to Rule Them All.” And if some of the characters won’t be returning for the sequel, no matter. In all likelihood, neither will the audience."
Here's more - not quite as civilized as the austere New York Times:
http://www.aznightbuzz.com/stories/160260.php
http://www.variety.com/review/VE1117932309.html?categoryid=31&cs=1
http://www.startribune.com/1553/story/875752.html
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/eragon/
Just to be even, though, here's one of the few positive reviews at rottentomatoes.com, from (surprise, surprise!) The Wall Street Journal, which we already know is wrong on important things like politics:
"magically and sumptuously detailed".
Greaaaat, Wall Street Journal. This apparently earned "Eragon" a "thumbs-up".
Boy, am I hateful.
