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intertribalinspired by the facebook group kim joined earlier this year, "Help! My Roommate is in Love with Her Professor!" and my own need to distinguish various girl student - male teacher relationships, to avoid being mistaken for the wrong type of coed.
This is kind of an unusual quiz. It operates by checks. It's separated into categories. Check every statement in each category that coincides, then count up the checks. Whichever category has the most checks is your winner.
Category A
_ She says he's confident, but he's full of himself, and doesn't always know what he's talking about.
_ She keeps a list of mistakes he's made and puts it on the internet.
_ She likes to hog discussion time and talks down to other students.
_ She's very concerned about advancing in her field.
_ She likes getting into fights with him.
_ She might sleep with him just because she wants a challenge.
_ She forms opinions quickly and has no doubt that she's right.
_ She believes intelligence and correctness is the most important trait of a professor.
Category H
_ She says he's a moron.
_ She never goes to office hours.
_ If he asked her to get drinks, she would attack him with pepper spray, claw his eyes out, make sure he's fired, and have him arrested.
_ She doesn't respond to his questions in class.
_ She doesn't understand how he got hired.
_ She didn't change her mind about anything even though he tried to convince her otherwise.
_ She writes bad reviews of him.
_ She does the readings, but throws everything away at the end of the year.
Category O
_ She says he's a good lecturer.
_ She does everything she has to do, but no more than that.
_ She took his class because her friends were taking it.
_ She skims the readings.
_ She only complains about class when there's a lot of homework.
_ She's never googled him.
_ She's talked while he's lecturing.
_ She rarely brings him up, and certainly not during semester breaks.
Category V
_ She says he's hot.
_ She always wears low-cut shirts to class.
_ She giggles and wiggles a lot when she sees him.
_ She doesn't get her work done.
_ She's not very interested in the subject.
_ She's like this with all her male professors.
_ She really wants As, but she's not all that smart.
_ Friendly, nice professors are her favorite.
Category T
_ She says he's a genius.
_ She laughs very loudly at his jokes.
_ She rattles on and on after class about points he made, on every argument, straight from her exhaustive notes.
_ She thinks his wife and children are really cute and perfect.
_ She buys him Christmas presents.
_ She has a life outside of him.
_ She's considering this major just because he's such an awesome professor.
_ She often refers to him in a parental way.
Category N
_ She says he's a genius, hot, and a good lecturer. And doesn't know why he's not tenured yet.
_ She knows where he lives.
_ She doesn't like to remember that he's married.
_ She constantly does all her work and her grades drop in other classes because of her attention to his class.
_ She dedicates Tegan & Sara songs to him.
_ She wants to know his life story.
_ She's jealous of other students when they get too close to him.
_ She has a list of little quotes of his that appear meaningless to most people.
ARCHANGEL (SATAN). Your roommate's not in love with her professor - she thinks she's smarter than him. Of course, she thinks she's smarter than everyone. She seeks to rise in the ranks and possibly knock him off the top. She will have succeeded when she publishes that controversial book that disproves everything he's been saying for the past ten years. However, she doesn't actually think he's as dumb as she may say - she knows he's formidable - and does not dislike him as a person.
HERETIC. Congratulations, your roommate is not in love with her professor. She hates him, in fact. The thought of him repulses her, and given the chance she would like to strike him down - but hell, he's not really worth the effort of a big sabotage attempt. She won't be discussing him any further and will forget about him soon enough, except maybe to tell friends to steer clear of him.
ON THE PEWS. Your roommate is not in love with her professor. She's indifferent and treats him like she would any other professor. He may make some small minimal impact, and she might save a couple of the readings, and certainly boast about her grades, but no more than that. She won't try to befriend him or send him emails, and doesn't plan on seeing him again, because he's not very important to her.
VIRGIN SLUT. Unfortunately, your roommate is a ho. Your roommate is not in love with her professor, but she's in lust with him, and hopes that the feeling is reciprocated - it's her only chance at getting straight As. She chooses classes based on professors she predicts will be likely to be nice to her or at least want to bone her, expects to get good grades in return, and calls this networking. She doesn't actually give a shit about him, though, so after the final grades are posted, he's dead to her.
THEOLOGIAN. There is love, but it's strictly platonic, as well as harmless and unlikely to cause mental duress. She regards him as a father figure. She will get starry-eyed when she hears the man speak forevermore, probably dedicate her thesis to him, and create a facebook group in his honor. In return, she will get glowing recommendations. She will also, however, have boyfriends, a regular life, and simply tell her children about good old Professor So-and-So and what he taught her about the aboriginal tribes of Papua New Guinea.
NUN. Yes, your roommate is in love with her professor. Completely and utterly. It will probably fuck her up for at least a while. While the attraction is sexual, your roommate is not a ho and will probably never sleep with the professor, because she would not want to risk him being censured. She cares about him as a person, admires him greatly, feels sharp emotional pangs around him, probably thinks about him many times throughout the day, and lives not for the good grades on her papers but the comments in the margins.
This is kind of an unusual quiz. It operates by checks. It's separated into categories. Check every statement in each category that coincides, then count up the checks. Whichever category has the most checks is your winner.
Category A
_ She says he's confident, but he's full of himself, and doesn't always know what he's talking about.
_ She keeps a list of mistakes he's made and puts it on the internet.
_ She likes to hog discussion time and talks down to other students.
_ She's very concerned about advancing in her field.
_ She likes getting into fights with him.
_ She might sleep with him just because she wants a challenge.
_ She forms opinions quickly and has no doubt that she's right.
_ She believes intelligence and correctness is the most important trait of a professor.
Category H
_ She says he's a moron.
_ She never goes to office hours.
_ If he asked her to get drinks, she would attack him with pepper spray, claw his eyes out, make sure he's fired, and have him arrested.
_ She doesn't respond to his questions in class.
_ She doesn't understand how he got hired.
_ She didn't change her mind about anything even though he tried to convince her otherwise.
_ She writes bad reviews of him.
_ She does the readings, but throws everything away at the end of the year.
Category O
_ She says he's a good lecturer.
_ She does everything she has to do, but no more than that.
_ She took his class because her friends were taking it.
_ She skims the readings.
_ She only complains about class when there's a lot of homework.
_ She's never googled him.
_ She's talked while he's lecturing.
_ She rarely brings him up, and certainly not during semester breaks.
Category V
_ She says he's hot.
_ She always wears low-cut shirts to class.
_ She giggles and wiggles a lot when she sees him.
_ She doesn't get her work done.
_ She's not very interested in the subject.
_ She's like this with all her male professors.
_ She really wants As, but she's not all that smart.
_ Friendly, nice professors are her favorite.
Category T
_ She says he's a genius.
_ She laughs very loudly at his jokes.
_ She rattles on and on after class about points he made, on every argument, straight from her exhaustive notes.
_ She thinks his wife and children are really cute and perfect.
_ She buys him Christmas presents.
_ She has a life outside of him.
_ She's considering this major just because he's such an awesome professor.
_ She often refers to him in a parental way.
Category N
_ She says he's a genius, hot, and a good lecturer. And doesn't know why he's not tenured yet.
_ She knows where he lives.
_ She doesn't like to remember that he's married.
_ She constantly does all her work and her grades drop in other classes because of her attention to his class.
_ She dedicates Tegan & Sara songs to him.
_ She wants to know his life story.
_ She's jealous of other students when they get too close to him.
_ She has a list of little quotes of his that appear meaningless to most people.
ARCHANGEL (SATAN). Your roommate's not in love with her professor - she thinks she's smarter than him. Of course, she thinks she's smarter than everyone. She seeks to rise in the ranks and possibly knock him off the top. She will have succeeded when she publishes that controversial book that disproves everything he's been saying for the past ten years. However, she doesn't actually think he's as dumb as she may say - she knows he's formidable - and does not dislike him as a person.
HERETIC. Congratulations, your roommate is not in love with her professor. She hates him, in fact. The thought of him repulses her, and given the chance she would like to strike him down - but hell, he's not really worth the effort of a big sabotage attempt. She won't be discussing him any further and will forget about him soon enough, except maybe to tell friends to steer clear of him.
ON THE PEWS. Your roommate is not in love with her professor. She's indifferent and treats him like she would any other professor. He may make some small minimal impact, and she might save a couple of the readings, and certainly boast about her grades, but no more than that. She won't try to befriend him or send him emails, and doesn't plan on seeing him again, because he's not very important to her.
VIRGIN SLUT. Unfortunately, your roommate is a ho. Your roommate is not in love with her professor, but she's in lust with him, and hopes that the feeling is reciprocated - it's her only chance at getting straight As. She chooses classes based on professors she predicts will be likely to be nice to her or at least want to bone her, expects to get good grades in return, and calls this networking. She doesn't actually give a shit about him, though, so after the final grades are posted, he's dead to her.
THEOLOGIAN. There is love, but it's strictly platonic, as well as harmless and unlikely to cause mental duress. She regards him as a father figure. She will get starry-eyed when she hears the man speak forevermore, probably dedicate her thesis to him, and create a facebook group in his honor. In return, she will get glowing recommendations. She will also, however, have boyfriends, a regular life, and simply tell her children about good old Professor So-and-So and what he taught her about the aboriginal tribes of Papua New Guinea.
NUN. Yes, your roommate is in love with her professor. Completely and utterly. It will probably fuck her up for at least a while. While the attraction is sexual, your roommate is not a ho and will probably never sleep with the professor, because she would not want to risk him being censured. She cares about him as a person, admires him greatly, feels sharp emotional pangs around him, probably thinks about him many times throughout the day, and lives not for the good grades on her papers but the comments in the margins.
