Father's Day

[intertribal]

The Gmail "call phone" function (the little green phone under Chat) has given me helpful tip today: "Reminder: Call dad."

I interpret this to mean "Reminder: Buy ouija board" or "Remember: Call medium" or "Remember: Hold seance."  This in turn is called humor to deflect pain.  It reminds me of that begging-for-donations letter from my alma mater around Mother's Day talking about how important our mothers were to us, how she was the woman that inspired us to go to this college - this wasn't true for me, but how much less true would it be for people who never knew their mothers? 

Ironically, Father's Day wasn't a thing for me when my father was alive (because it isn't a thing in Indonesia).

So, this is my Father's Day song:

Comments

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

this wasn't true for me, but how much less true would it be for people who never knew their mothers?

This bothers me anytime anyone (but I usually bump up against it in a church context) says something along the lines of "Remember when you were little, and mom always kissed you before you went off to school, and was always waiting with milk and cookies when you came home?" or some such. It asserts a golden-age-ism (sooort of...) that is completely alienating if that's not what you experienced (plus it asserts a kind of norm that maybe you don't want: maybe the ideal mom *isn't* waiting at home with milk and cookies. And anyway, maybe there are many ideal moms)

Mother's Day and Father's Day weren't a Thing in my family either, though, given cultural pressing of the tradition (e.g., you have to make stuff in school), we knew about them and would, like, say "Happy Mother's Day." I feel for you, though: for you, a celebration that's largely a marketing ploy makes you feel very real things that are totally not what the marketers have in mind.

Do you like other Tori Amos? She's one of my favorites.

[intertribal.livejournal.com]

Yes, I agree, and I think it does tend to be golden-age-y. It reminds me too of these pathetic early reader things we had in Indonesia (I believe institutionalized by the state) that had paragraphs about the "normal Indonesian family" in which mother cooks rice and father works in the field and children go to school (in later editions father goes to work in an office, but mother is still "menanak nasi"!). Although that actually didn't feel as alienating because it almost fell more in line with plain ol' storytelling (which can also get infused with problems of too much universalizing). Anyway, that's why I tagged this entry with "little boxes made of ticky-tacky."

a celebration that's largely a marketing ploy makes you feel very real things that are totally not what the marketers have in mind.

That's the crux of it, yes.

I do like other Tori Amos. I liked her quite a lot in college - now I tend to go for more rock/metal/angry stuff. Her "A Sorta Fairytale" was the song I wrote "Lake Tahoe's Lover" to, actually. I also really like "Little Earthquakes" (the first Tori Amos song I heard, to a contemporary dance routine), "Spark," and "Cruel."

songs--and cooking rice

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Oh, I like "A Sorta Fairytale"--and I can totally see that for "Lake Tahoe's Lover." I don't know those other songs! So now I feel like a fraud saying I like her. Oh well.

One of my favorites (but it's depressing) is "Bells for Her"--do you know it? I also really like "January." My favorite, though, I think, is probably "1,000 Oceans." But I like bunches of others--"Crucify," "Cornflake Girl," "Starling," "Concertina,"--well, the list goes on. But now I want to check out these three you mention.

menanak nasi--I plugged it into Google translate, of course. And it reminded me of a time we got a Japanese wrapper on something (a candy bar or tea or who knows what) that had apa kabar on it, and realizing (eventually) that that was Indonesian... I remember (this was back before I was on LJ, by quite a bit) having an e-mail exchange with some guy in Indonesia, all because I was so excited to find out that apa kabar had meaning and wasn't just random stuff on a package.

Re: songs--and cooking rice

[intertribal.livejournal.com]

No, no, I suspect we were just exposed to different Tori Amos (and perhaps like different styles of Tori Amos). My favorite album of hers is Hotel, and I don't know a lot of her other albums. I do know Under the Pink but it's a little too soft for me, although I forgot to mention that I LOVE with "The Waitress," off that album. I actually associate that song with dictators of developing countries who put on a good front for the outside world/rich countries ("boys all think she's living kindness") but treat people in their own country like crap ("ask a fellow waitress"). Even without my extremely weird brain that song is hard-core, haha ("but I believe in peace, bitch!"). I like "Crucify," though. Oh, and "Precious Things" and "Tear In Your Hand."

That's weird. So it was a Japanese wrapper but it had "apa kabar" on it? Other languages as well?

Re: songs--and cooking rice

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Yeah--you know how Japanese tend to put funny English on things? Only this was Indonesian. There was some English too--it made me think "Apa kabar" was like a club, rather than a greeting.

Our music Venn diagram is interesting--I think yeah, in general I trend toward softer stuff and you trend toward more harsh stuff... and yet I tend to like a lot of what you do share.

Re: songs--and cooking rice

[intertribal.livejournal.com]

LOL. That's pretty weird, though. I tend to be shocked that Japan (or anybody else "developed") is even aware of the existence of Indonesia (especially beyond Bali, and especially involving language). My mom and I were flabbergasted that the dude who ended up winning Top Chef Masters this season was asked by one of the judges to cook rendang, "a traditional Indonesian dish." I was like "people are aware of rendang?" Then there was mention of "Java Black" clove cigarettes on Criminal Intent last night and the shock train just goes on and on.

Ah, music venn diagrams - that doesn't sound like something that would waste a lot of time at all!

Re: songs--and cooking rice

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Maybe Indonesia is trending upward (or whatever it is that they say on Twitter) in pop culture.

Ah, music venn diagrams - that doesn't sound like something that would waste a lot of time at all!

Hahaha! Good thing we both have gripping paid work we have to attend to [/tongue in cheek] and so won't spend time seeing where we match (like Faun) and where we don't (like I'm thinking, she likes "Love the Way You Lie" but doesn't like "Not Afraid," so what can I gather from that?? And part of it is that subject matter and lyrics are very important to you. They are to me too .... hey, I think that might be it: You have certain topics that are very important to you that I'm neutral on, and vice versa, maybe)

Re: songs--and cooking rice

[intertribal.livejournal.com]

Maybe. It would be nice if it just stayed at food and clove cigarettes.

Yeah, I think that's gotta be a big part of it (topics). And the rest of it is probably aesthetic taste. Reminds me, last night I was watching an interesting NOVA show about "the way music affects the brain." They were taking brain scans (whatever they're called) of people listening to Bach, then Beethoven, and comparing the results. And there was some guy who liked only rock 'n' roll but then he got hit by lightning and became obsessed with classical piano (and now performs his "Lightning Sonata"). Interesting stuff.

hit with lightning

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

I want to be hit with lightning a thousand times so that I can appreciate ALL THE MUSICS and ALL THE THINGS.

Seriously, sometimes I want to be everywhere and feel everything.

But to your comment: I agree--interesting stuff indeed! Nova has some cool shows.

Re: songs--and cooking rice

[intertribal.livejournal.com]

Crap, I just realized that the album I called Hotel was actually From The Choirgirl Hotel. I didn't think she'd ever make an album title that short, heh.

Re: songs--and cooking rice

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the correction! I hadn't looked, yet, for it.

[cafenowhere.livejournal.com]

Wow, Gmail. Presumptuous much? I would've been mightily offended too, although for different reasons. Does no one vet these things?

[intertribal.livejournal.com]

Why would you have been offended?

I wonder if they did the same for Mother's Day - can't remember.

[cafenowhere.livejournal.com]

In my case, the message would've translated to: "Reminder: call the man who beat your mom in front of you, the guy who hit his second wife in front of you, the perv who told you lewd 'jokes' but never when anyone else was in earshot, the deadbeat who didn't pay child support for three kids..." ad infinitum.

A simple "Reminder: It's Father's Day in the US" would've sufficed, dontcha think?

[intertribal.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I'm sorry. That's even worse. Or at least, also bad.

Yes, it would have.

[cafenowhere.livejournal.com]

Not worse, I'd never say that. Pain is pain. But it's not fun, either. You're definitely not the only person to be alienated by that marketing approach.