glaciers melting in the dead of night

[intertribal]

I seem to have lost my desire to write... crap.  I've been feeling very deadened and removed lately, distant.  I seem to have hit a "dry spell", both in my life and my writing.  I don't know why this has been happening to me of late... getting to about 100 pages on a book or whatever and then just losing interest and continuing.  It's like I'm back in grade school, when I would write a page and get bored of the story, bored and unmotivated and discouraged because I'd think, you can do better than this shit, can't you?  And I'd imagine the perfect beginning to the perfect story and I'd start writing and realize I had nothing to follow the perfect beginning.  That's the real reason I went through so many notebooks as a child, not because I actually wrote that much, but because I couldn't for the life of me keep my passion for a story up enough to finish it.  Maybe I'm just out of the purge stage and into binging again.  But I must finish it.  I know I must.

I'm just feeling inarticulate lately.

I was angry when I met you, I think I'm angry still
don't worry, baby, no need to fight,
don't worry, baby, we'll be alright
this is the noise, keeps me awake, my head explodes and my body aches
PUSH IT
make the beats go harder
push it, you can do it, come on, prove it, nothing to it
come on, use it, let's get through it, come on, push it, you can do it

Comments

[intertribal.livejournal.com]

yeah... haha.

[intertribal.livejournal.com]

um, I think it's an aftereffect of something else...

That's a good idea, actually. Maybe I'll do it... if I have time.

You're in the binge stage. Binge -> intake, purge -> output.

[intertribal.livejournal.com]

DO NOT LOOK UNDER THE CUT! REPEAT: DO NOT LOOK UNDER THE CUT!

[intertribal.livejournal.com]

YES. THERE IS MEAT MOVING OF ITS OWN ACCORD. AND JESUS INTESTINES.

[(Anonymous)]

the intestines come crawlin' outta Jesus... while he's hung up on the cross...

[royinpink.livejournal.com]

Uhh...Jesus intestines? I'm reading these in the order you wrote them, so I dunno if my comments will make sense. Anyway... why bored? I feel like boredom is the biggest problem in any sort of creation or production, even just living. And I always have to get out and see people and do things--whatever makes me feel most intensely, whatever makes life most real--because the boredom is just an effect of me being in my head, usually, which has other causes, like being afraid of getting hurt by people or whatever else, of not being good enough... Regardless, when I can remember what excites me about life, what I'm actually enthusiastic or passionate about or devoted to, that's when the rest falls into place, and never before, no matter how hard I try... But that's me. Also, perfection is an awfully high standard...what's perfect writing, anyway? ...probably writing that kills the boredom