all the world wonders after the beast
Oct. 1st, 2009 06:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
intertribalThings I get in the mail: a brochure for Decoding Prophecy, a FREE and exciting Bible prophecy adventure seminar to be held at a Lincoln church in which the Bible, I am promised, will come alive. This is the web site of the folks in charge but it does not convey the greatness that is this glossy brochure.
1. There is a winged lion on the cover. It's walking through mist and looks like it's on LSD and it's accompanied with font that says "Four great beasts from the sea - the first like a lion, with an eagle's wings..." They've taken an ad out in the paper too, and the lion accompanied it there as well (almost as if the winged lion is the mascot). But then beast, isn't that usually a negative word? So is it a good lion or a bad lion? It looks like angelic Aslan, so I'm really not sure how it could be evil.
2. Inside the lion appears again, along with three bubble-pictures: the first, "Countdown to Eternity," depicts a comet surging towards the feet of a giant Phoenician Transformer; the second, "Jesus is Coming - Ready or Not!" depicts Prince Jesus in a red robe riding a white horse through clouds, looking off into the distance with all the posed complexity of a Ken doll; the third, "The Antichrist Beast Revealed," depicts the most fantastic image of all. Another lion, except it's spotted like a leopard, and six additional smaller heads sprout from its neck - two leopard heads, two polar bear heads, and two passive-ish lion heads. And then there's ten horns that look like women's arms with the hands chopped off and wearing bracelets coming out of the top of the main lion's head. Oh, and it's coming out of the sea. It's just spectacular.
3. Beside these three-bubble pictures is a "sidebar" of sorts. First we have "The Time of the End," depicting a burning-into-the-sun Earth; then "The Devil's Greatest Deception - Part 1," apparently about a giant cosmic man who is concerned about something and creating blue energy between his open palms; then "The Devil's Greatest Deception - Part 2," which is just a straight-up Sith, I'm sorry; then "All the World Wonders After the Beast," showing a guy with a Left Behind-esque shining 666 barcode on his forehead; and finally "Revelation's Keys of Death," wherein a woman's hand places a rose upon the tombstone of someone called Father.
4. Down below all of this is some more text: "Biblical Symbols Bring Meaning and Understanding Into Our Daily Lives," in LOTR font, and promises of more presentations to come, about "Revelation's Hottest Prophecy!" (Megan Fox is being born again?), "Showdown at the New Jerusalem - Revelation Reveals the Millenium (sic)", and "The Rapture, Tribulation and the Last Night on Earth."
5. On the back of this brochure we get some more schedule information - "Opening Night for Revelation of Hope," "Revelation's Biggest Surprise," "Revelation's Greatest End-time Signs," and my favorite, "Revelation's Star Wars' Battle for the Throne." This confirms what appears to be a clear Star Wars theme to the whole Decoding Prophecy adventure seminar.
I don't think I've ever seen a more lavish ad for a Bible seminar.
1. There is a winged lion on the cover. It's walking through mist and looks like it's on LSD and it's accompanied with font that says "Four great beasts from the sea - the first like a lion, with an eagle's wings..." They've taken an ad out in the paper too, and the lion accompanied it there as well (almost as if the winged lion is the mascot). But then beast, isn't that usually a negative word? So is it a good lion or a bad lion? It looks like angelic Aslan, so I'm really not sure how it could be evil.
2. Inside the lion appears again, along with three bubble-pictures: the first, "Countdown to Eternity," depicts a comet surging towards the feet of a giant Phoenician Transformer; the second, "Jesus is Coming - Ready or Not!" depicts Prince Jesus in a red robe riding a white horse through clouds, looking off into the distance with all the posed complexity of a Ken doll; the third, "The Antichrist Beast Revealed," depicts the most fantastic image of all. Another lion, except it's spotted like a leopard, and six additional smaller heads sprout from its neck - two leopard heads, two polar bear heads, and two passive-ish lion heads. And then there's ten horns that look like women's arms with the hands chopped off and wearing bracelets coming out of the top of the main lion's head. Oh, and it's coming out of the sea. It's just spectacular.
3. Beside these three-bubble pictures is a "sidebar" of sorts. First we have "The Time of the End," depicting a burning-into-the-sun Earth; then "The Devil's Greatest Deception - Part 1," apparently about a giant cosmic man who is concerned about something and creating blue energy between his open palms; then "The Devil's Greatest Deception - Part 2," which is just a straight-up Sith, I'm sorry; then "All the World Wonders After the Beast," showing a guy with a Left Behind-esque shining 666 barcode on his forehead; and finally "Revelation's Keys of Death," wherein a woman's hand places a rose upon the tombstone of someone called Father.
4. Down below all of this is some more text: "Biblical Symbols Bring Meaning and Understanding Into Our Daily Lives," in LOTR font, and promises of more presentations to come, about "Revelation's Hottest Prophecy!" (Megan Fox is being born again?), "Showdown at the New Jerusalem - Revelation Reveals the Millenium (sic)", and "The Rapture, Tribulation and the Last Night on Earth."
5. On the back of this brochure we get some more schedule information - "Opening Night for Revelation of Hope," "Revelation's Biggest Surprise," "Revelation's Greatest End-time Signs," and my favorite, "Revelation's Star Wars' Battle for the Throne." This confirms what appears to be a clear Star Wars theme to the whole Decoding Prophecy adventure seminar.
I don't think I've ever seen a more lavish ad for a Bible seminar.
