shitty sci-fi* movie roundup: bash it up, bash it up, bash it up

WRONG TURN 2: DEAD END



A Uwe-Boll-directed sequel to a The Hills Have Eyes ripoff, so I came in with low expectations and was pleasantly surprised.  The Too Dumb To Live young adults are competing in an "apocalyptic survival" reality show that for some reason takes place in the West Virginia boondocks.   All the deranged cannibals have the same pathetic mutant-jello-mold face and do cliched deranged cannibal things, but they also say grace before meals.  The two survivors, angry blonde girl and black guy, are actually fairly likable, and A. J. "The Racist Rapist" Weston from Sons of Anarchy plays a hoo-rah military guy who dies Boromir-style.  Recommended (If You're Into Deranged Cannibal Stuff Like Me).

JOY RIDE 2: DEAD AHEAD

A psycho trucker menaces four traveling youngsters.  He kidnaps the tough guy of their ranks and then makes demands of the others: plz to be cutting off one girl's finger, making the other girl get naked, getting the Hot Topic guy to dress up in drag and ask for crystal meth.  The acting and dialogue are passable, which is almost too bad since the characters aren't engaging and the plot doesn't hold attention.  It's not even scream scream scream, just blah blah blah, the trucker is God on meth and where the fuck are the police.  I got bored with this one.  Not Recommended.

100 FEET

The heroine has just been released from prison, where she was serving time for killing her abusive husband in self-defense.  She has to wear an ankle collar because she's under house arrest.  Too bad her husband's ghost is still hanging out, throwing plates at her.  A bland and dreary movie despite the inventive premise of the ankle collar as obstacle-to-escape.  The only un-bland part comes when the ghost kills the heroine's new boytoy in the most grotesque and poorly special-effected death scene ever, and even then you're puking more in disdain than wonder.  Not Recommended.

* Of course, I mean SyFy.

let's all agree that rabbits are creepy.

Any David Lynch fans out there?

I can't really call myself one because I've only seen Mulholland Drive - but it made a deep impression on me.  Anyway, I decided to see if I could track down Rabbits on YouTube, and all eight episodes are online.  At the beginning I was like, "huh?" but by the end of episode 8 I was genuinely afraid.  And now I can't stop watching the episodes oh my god it's like crack. 

Episode 2  Episode 3  Episode 4  Episode 5  Episode 6  Episode 7  Episode 8

I REALLY want to write down all the dialogue and put it in proper order.  In case you haven't come to the conclusion that I am hopelessly weird, here's a quiz that backs me up:

So, intertribal, your LiveJournal reveals...

You are... 16% unique (blame, for example, your interest in the neo-west), 36% peculiar, 24% interesting, 18% normal and 7% herdlike (partly because you, like everyone else, enjoy radiohead). When it comes to friends you are normal. In terms of the way you relate to people, you are keen to please. Your writing style (based on a recent public entry) is intellectual.

Your overall weirdness is: 60

(The average level of weirdness is: 29. You are weirder than 91% of other LJers.) Find out what your weirdness level is!