the earth is not a cold dead place

Here's something I've never gotten:

Why do people assume Nebraska has Arctic weather?  Like, why do New Yorkers assume this?  I have met so many New Yorkers whose weather is just as cold as Nebraska's, and who actually live at a higher latitude than Nebraska, who say, "oh, isn't it really cold there?" when I tell them where I'm from.  Personally, I've always found Nebraska's heat much more staggering than its cold, and yeah, it's a few degrees colder on average in Nebraska, but it's a hell of a lot colder in Fargo. 

Granted, when prodded, many of them think that Nebraska is "way up north" (although New York touches up against Canada and Nebraska doesn't...) and then admit that they don't know where any of the states between New York and California are.  Still, why assume Nebraska is right up there with Nunavut?  People the world over seem to make this same conclusion.  I don't think they do with, say, Kansas.  But I suppose everyone's seen The Wizard of Oz, and concluded that Kansas is dusty and dry and full of tornadoes? 

Granted #2, when I first heard I was moving here, I thought we were moving to Norway instead.  But that's because I have an uncle who lives in Nebraska whose name is Norman. 

ten secret runes have I seen scratched on smoothed out fish bone

Holy crap, Lord of the Rings is so damn depressing.

This is why people should not aim for "epic".  I would take obscure, inconclusive Cormac McCarthy endings over all that grandiose let's-watch-everybody-die-so-people-know-not-to-expect-sequels crap.  I won't ask you for a sequel, ok?  I won't ask you for a fucking sequel. 

This is also directed at Akira Toriyama, obviously.  And myself, because I have done the epic overarching, overreaching ending myself, and I have to say writing it really depressed me.  I won't do it again. 

Also, is it wrong how much I like European folk metal?  Faun is my favorite.  I think it ties in to my forbidden love for Charmed and my secret desire to be pagan.  And the fact that I'm going home in two and a half weeks and Nebraska brings it out in me!  You can't be pagan in the city, man.  The city's naturally dead, which is why it depresses me so much. Seriously, though - when I first moved to Nebraska and lived with my aunt and uncle, I got this big influx of folksiness.  Like I've said, my cousins are SCA re-enactors.  My aunt always listened to Steeleye Span, for goodness sake, and I'm still obsessed with their version of "Tam Lin".  Two of my favorite Midsomer Murders episodes are The Fisher King and The Straw Woman.  And I think part of what annoyed me about Twilight was the use of folk-pagan symbolism in the justification of a Mormon pro-abstinence public service announcement. 

The problem, and one that I've written about before, is how thin the line is between happyvolk and Nazivolk.  I really hate that this is true, but... it is, and seriously Europe, blame the Nazis for usurping your culture and making all the white supremacists proclaim that they're descended from Odin and Frigg.  Or blame the French, if you desire to take it that far, for making you develop Cultural Nationalism (or as my history professor calls it, Nationalism with a capital N). 

Goddamn crisis of modernity.  I'm pretty sure I've bought into it.  Don't think I realized how much so until I had to write an essay about it.  Let's just hope I don't self-immolate in a glorious fascistic moment.