driving with your handbrake on

sinners deserve to lose their spawn.

I had no idea communities like this existed: imissmydad.  Their posts weird me out.  Theirs are all more recent losses than mine, for the most part, and maybe that's why I don't get their sentiments.  A lot of complaints about people trying to express sympathy and how alienated it makes them feel - questions about walking down aisles - some tell white lies to get around having to tell people their fathers are dead.  Write terrible poetry to their, our, all dearly departed Fathers (always capitalized) who are gone forever and will be forever missed.

I mean, I have no reactions like this.  I don't even remember what day he died.  Was it the sixth?  Who knows.  Does it matter?  It's coming up but usually I don't remember until it's passed.  And I think he'd prefer it that way.  School was always the most important thing in our house - doing well at school is what he'd want me to be doing.  That said I think our family's always been a little odd: we never set down roots and we never had an extended family - so I feel no need to surround myself with relatives and have a hundred babies in case I or my future husband dies.  My mother has said a couple times that maybe I should have had a sibling, but there's no loss, love.  Our troika is spiritually close. 

I actually really like it when this happens:
Social-Climbing-Girl-trying-to-gauge-my-social-class: What does your dad do?
Me: Oh, he's dead.  He doesn't do much. 

I come across as jaded or bitter or cold-hearted or really easily offended, but really I think it's just been so long.  I've adjusted.  I still love him and so does my mother, and he us.  And really, though, I don't think he does much.  He's probably smoking kretek in heaven's backyard in a state of perpetual freshness, watching stars grow and listening to aliens chitter-chatter like bugs.

minutiae:

1) I think "Yes We Can" is a more accurate slogan than "Yes We Will".  Come on, Hillary, who's being the blind idealist now? 

2)  Silent Hill is really a better story than people give it credit for.  "Into the darkness she swallowed their hate" and "They gave her to the fiend" and "Burning the witch held back the darkness and delayed the apocalypse" and "Now is the end of days, and I am the Reaper" and all that.  I LOVE THAT SHIT.  I think Alessa Gillespie and Acmon are the same person.  Which is very funny to me.