interlude

I need to dedicate this song to Andromache (and Acmon):

you sit there in your heartache
waitin' on some beautiful boy to save you from your old ways
you plead forgiveness, watch it now, here he comes

he doesn't look a thing like Jesus
but he talks like a gentleman
like you imagined when you were young

- "When You Were Young"; The Killers

To-Do-This-Weekend

1.  Finish research - read all the articles. - continuous
2.  PS 9. - Thursday p.m.
3.  Chapter 2 and 3 in Silent Spring. - Thursday a.m.
4.  Slideshow for lab.  - weekend
5.  IO article - Friday?

Sigh. 

maybe it's the hum of changing opinion?

interpret what you will.  I don't feel like self-analyzing right now.  all I know is every time I hear this song I feel the need to post the lyrics, so that's what I'm doing. 

I've never met her, and I don' t mind
I've seen her face a thousand times
she hides behind her hair and I wonder if her love is like mine
face up, I'll face the day
three weeks you flewaway
I'll never blame her, I'll never let you make me hate a girl that way
touchdown, I hear the score
I watched you slide out through the backdoor
I never met her, but when I do,
I'll thank her for saving me from you
- Veruca Salt: Never Met Her

this one too.  I think this one is more about me and political science here in college.  I am very committed to political science.  It's a little scary.  Although reassuring, to know that this is my calling.  I mean, even if it's not fate, I don't care, you know, I'll do it anyway - that's how much I love it.

 
the corporation - cow rifling through burning trash

I wish I had a metal heart... I could cross the line
I wish I was half as good as you think I am
now that we know they're telling lies when they say
no one gets hurt, and therefore nobody dies
you know it's hard to believe anything that you hear
they say the world is round
I wish I was as big as you, you'd have to tell the truth
I'd be nothing you could hurt, nothing you could use
I want to be dependable, I want to be courageous and good
I want to be faithful so that I can be heroic and true
I want to be a friend you can rely on, you can lean on and trust
I want to understand so I can forgive and be willing to love
I wish I wasn't flesh and blood
I wouldn't be scared of bullets built with me in mind
for then, I could be saved
My sweet lord, take care of me for I think I'm done
Kiss my mother on her cheek and lay my burden down
- Garbage: Metal Heart


the war tapes: size does matter in iraq

penultimate.

when figures from the past stand tall, and mocking voices ring the hall
imperialistic house of prayer, conquistadores who took their share
they keep calling me
- Nine Inch Nails (Joy Division): Dead Souls


the fog of war: bombs over tokyo

ultimate.

all I am now, fall, fall for a way down
more than a handshake or a grin
more than a test for old friends
I'll wait till Monday for a step outside
you can pretend all you want to, I don't mind
one more chance to, chance to do something
- Denali: Do Something

when you were young

from memegirls. The theme is you as a child.

1. My obsession was: the Spice Girls, drama, action, dinosaurs

2. My favorite TV show was: Ksatria Hitam, Kung Fu: The Legend Continues, MTV Asia Hit List

3. My favorite book was: The Hobbit, Caddie Woodlawn, Fairy Tales (a book, I swear), People (not the magazine)

4. My favorite movie was: Space Jam, Men in Black, Fantasia, The Lion King, Jurassic Park

5. My favorite food was: fried chicken, rice, ketchup, teh sosro (bottled extremely sweet tea), puff pastries, semur (a particular kind of soup-sauce that meatballs are cooked in), ramen noodles, gurame (gourami is the Western spelling - it's the best fish in the world), air kelapa (coconut water, right out of the coconut).  Yeah, it's easy to like food when you grow up in Indonesia.

6. My LEAST favorite food was: "sawi" - this godawful Indonesian vegetable dish the color of vomit with the texture of slime

7. My favorite stuffed animal was: uh... I didn't have a favorite, though I did like my cat families, my starfish "Starla", and my stuffed giraffe whose head was always too heavy for his neck to bear, and ended up a decrepit hunchback of sorts

8. My favorite color was: pink, and then blue

9. My favorite thing about school/preschool was: my teachers, my friends, what we did on the fun days, like Friday, our presentations, arts and crafts, environmental themes, recess

10. My favorite game was: it became Monopoly - before then I didn't have any

11. My favorite toy was: Lego, the Paradise edition, and Barbie

12. My best friend was: Lexi

13. My worst enemy was: Nonon

14. My "boyfriend"/"girlfriend" was: I had a crush named Rikki

15. My teacher's name was: uh... the ones that made the strongest impressions were Ibu Lola, Pak Craig, and Pak Dave (ibu = mrs or ma'am, and pak = mr.).  Bu Lola was my 3rd and 5th grade teacher and she was tough, but awesome, and told ghost stories on the last day of the year, and chided us for not wanting to do so well on tests that we'd commit suicide, like Japanese students, and Pak Craig taught us Maori songs and dances, and he and Pak Dave really encouraged my writing.  Pak Dave was I think the first teacher I was very attached to.  I ran to his house and gave him a poem when he was leaving to go back to America (we lived in the same suburb) - I'm pretty sure the poem involved something about scratching my hand on barbed wire, or something - like that was how him leaving made me feel. 

16. The name I called my mom was: Mama, then Mom

17. The name I called my dad was: Daddy, then Ayah

18. Another grown up in my life was: erm... Uncle Pal, one of my dad's friends.  He has a vacation house in the mountains in Bandung and there's this really cute picture of me holding one of the baby goats in his backyard.  We went there a lot.  One time he saw me reading a book at the dinner table on ghosts and he chastised me for it, and he was like, "You want a ghost story, I'll tell you a ghost story."  He proceeded to tell a story about a guy who was out at night and kept seeing people, like becak drivers, warung owners, satay vendors, who all had... no face.  And it really creeped me out.

19. My favorite thing to pretend was: that there was some threat to our school - aliens or ghosts or an evil military or something - and we, the students, all had to join forces and fight it

20. I was scared of: ghosts - lots and lots of ghosts, and that's pretty much it.  Oh, and getting lost in the grocery store/ abandoned by my parents.

And the bonus question...

What did you want to be when you grew up? "the first female soccer player", a paleontologist, and finally, towards the end, a lawyer