that's definitely gonna stand out in your yard over there.

[intertribal]

"It's why the Falls is one of the top-ranked planned communities in all of California."

I don't usually do "reviews" of episodes of television shows, but "Arcadia", of the X Files, is worthy of a livejournal post.  It's in my top ten list of X Files episodes.  (boy, after this and "Humbug" last night, I seem to be running on a spate of good luck with X Files episodes)

ARCADIA:  Do you dream of a perfect life in the suburbs?  Do you aspire to be on the cover of Home & Garden?  Are you a frequent customer of the Home Depot?  Do your neighbors' tacky lawn ornaments bother you?  Did you watch Stepford and think, "that would be cool!"  Are you... high-maintenance?  Then the planned community of Arcadia may be for you!  Just make sure you read the homeowner's manual. 

Mulder and Scully go undercover as a married couple in gated paradise Arcadia (as in, "Et in Arcadia Ego") to figure out why people in said community are vanishing.  They're greeted with a big Welcome basket as well as an entourage of neighbors helping them move in before 6 - that's the cut-off for new move-ins, 6 pm. 

Mulder strives to piss off the neighborhood leader, Mr. Jean Gogolak, by kicking over his mailbox, putting up a basketball hoop and a plastic flamingo, trying to dig a pool in the front yard, etc.  And the neighbors who try to protect him by fixing these little indiscretions start disappearing.  The warning is the broken front yard light.  That's how the creature, a kind of Tibetan golem commanded by Mr. Gogolak that grinds up neighbors who don't follow the Arcadia rules, knows where to go.  And who to kill! - Highly Recommended.

"You'd fit in really well here."



"You're not allowed to have over 16 pounds of pets.  CCNRs."



"It's just that there are so many, so many rules.  I think they would be able to keep up with them better if they knew what would happen if they don't."



"We just spooned up and fell asleep like little baby cats, isn't that right, honeybunch?" 
"That's right, poopyhead."



"He just says he works at home, which tells me she's got money."



"No, I fixed it!  I fixed it!  AAAAA!"



"Every community has its dark underbelly, don't you think?"
"We don't have any underbelly.  As far as I'm concerned this community's the American dream."



"I love the decor here, Mr. Gogolak, is it occidental?" 



"So how did you two meet?"  "It was actually a UFO conference."



"Bring it on."



"I didn't see him in the storm drain, either.  I take it he's dead, Scully." 
"Laura." 



"You've got two FBI Agents living next door to you.  Cheer up!  It's not for long." 



"Is it so damn important for everybody to have the same color mailbox?"  "It's important to fit in."



"The Ubermensch!  It's our fault... the original homeowners, we asked for it, now we can't stop it."



"You can give it life, but you can't control it.  All you can do is hope to stay out of its way."



"The Falls in Arcadia has been named one of the top planned communities in California for the sixth year running."



"You wanna make that honeymoon video now?"