a sense of joy and then a panic

I think I realized more how much this had to do with background/parents when I met Tara, and same deal. Because neither of us 'fit in' at Reed, yet she still had very much the attitude of someone whose parents were both professors. Poor, crazy professors, but in the academic world nonetheless. They spoke the lingo, had the conversations/arguments, even got to have intellectual guilt! (like white guilt, except for academics, which is like the most pretentious thing ever)

By contrast, neither of my parents graduated college. They flunked out.