a sense of joy and then a panic

I guess I've always liked writing movie reviews, although I don't like reviewing books so much, because usually it's either just "this is a good book, read this" or "this is what I have to say about a famous work" like LOTR. I think what really got me into it was the film class I took in Melbourne, because it was part of what we had to do for class was "respond" to movies. To some extent I think it is an exercise in narcissism - like, yes, I'm sure the world so cares what I think about Popular Movie X. But I actually spend a lot of zone-out time during movies thinking about my own stuff, so I feel like the juxtaposition to "how I would do it" is always there. I don't know if I can say much more than that.