a sense of joy and then a panic

I don't think that's a fair assessment of my novel at all, and it actually really sucks if that's all you think I'm trying to do in my writing. I hope I'm just not explaining myself well. There are "things" I criticize, in the sense that Heart of Darkness is a criticism of colonialism, but it's not like the whole thing is an exercise in snark, and I think that I certainly do present ideas (and ideals) of my own. I have always tried to do that, regardless of whether the execution or the ideas are up to par. I'm not sure to what extent a novel can even be purely criticism - are hipsters producing critical novels of some kind? I don't know what that would look like (James Franco's stuff?), but I can't imagine it would have much of a soul. Even your typical grimdark fantasy that's a critical response to traditional heroic fantasy is saying something besides criticism, even if it may not be intentional.