a sense of joy and then a panic

I don't know what standing up for myself would do for this situation... get a grip, brain, you don't need other people? I mean, having pride in myself... helps what, in this case? I get how that helped you, but I don't think these are equivalent situations. I've thought about this, and even if I was a very successful writer with a lot of joy in my work, I still would not be able to function without a family. I do need people to love, and people to love me. Constant reminders that there's a life outside of writing, because it is that life that I'm writing about. I need a support network. Something I don't really have now.