Well, I'm glad you don't want to commit suicide. For whatever it's worth, you'll always have me, but I suspect that's not what you mean by 'being alone'.

This is actually why reading Nietzsche soothes me. I mean, it makes me stop being anxious and self-hating and stand up for myself.

I don't know how you'll make your peace with writing--whether it means getting a certain job or finding someone to love or just having more pride in yourself--but I suppose for your sake, I hope you do.