actually, i'm not sure if respect is really the issue, or maybe it's just a convenient term, but...it's more like those are the reasons why i don't like or relate to them as people, despite the desire and love i have for them. and that's what bothers me, because it's so skewed, i can have this whole relationship without ever understanding them at all, or vice versa. it's like unethical in kantian terms, lol. i'm using people as means to ends! ends of love and validation! Reciprocal ends! but seriously.