![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
we're all stars now, in the dope show
Jun. 3rd, 2011 08:01 pmMarch 27: Some guy coded Dead Cert Man bets £8,400 (US $13,789) on Kim Clijsters and Novak Djokovic winning their tennis matches at the Sony Ericsson open. They win. He wins. He keeps on winning. Incidentally, Djokovic also keeps on winning. He is undefeated so far in 2011, a great accomplishment for the #2 player in the world. Dead Cert Man always places his bets in the same William Hill shop in London - a representative of William Hill says "This is the most spectacular winning run in recent memory and must constitute a world record. The longest consecutive winning run of any newspaper horse racing tipster has been 13 winners. Our man is now on 23 - and seems intent on going on and on." Dead Cert Man only beats "hot" players who are "dead certain" to win.
June 2: Dead Cert Man places £120,000 (US $196,992) on Djokovic to beat #3 Roger Federer in the semifinals of the French Open. It is Dead Cert Man's biggest wager yet. Because the odds are so narrow, he'd only pull in £40,000 if he's right, but that would still take his winnings to £227,000 (US $372,643). Lots of money, right? And he's drawn out none of it. He wants to buy a house, you see. William Hill representative says "I can't recall another tennis bet of this size." Incidentally, Djokovic's win streak is now at a whopping 43. His 41-win streak since the beginning of the year is just one short of McEnroe's record for the best start to a tennis player's year, ever. So Dead Cert Man is on a 26 win run, and Djokovic is on a 43 win run. Not only that! But Djokovic would become #1 in the world for the first time if he won! No one - no one! - expects Djokovic to lose. Especially not to "No Country For Old Men" Federer.
June 3: Roger Federer says:
And wins.
This match took up my entire "working" afternoon, by the way. When I was little, and my allegiance was with Andre Agassi, I once drew up a chart that I planned to use to figure out whether Agassi played better in matches when I was watching vs. not watching. I was going to conduct an experiment wherein I would watch for 5 minutes, not watch for 5 minutes, and see if it made a difference. Yes, I was insane even as a child. I didn't actually carry this experiment out, by the way, so we will never know...
I was listening to Radio Roland Garros and aside from their hilarious, mile-a-minute commentary (they basically sound like soccer commentators, which is nuts, especially considering tennis cannot be narrated, especially to people like me who actually have to think about what "crosscourt forehand" means), one of the wonderful things about Radio Roland Garros is when they read emails/Tweets from fans all over the world. You get to hear about all the North Americans pretending they're on "conference calls" while at work (one lady wrote "I've been on a conference call for 2 weeks straight," the length of the tournament), all the Indian kids pretending they're studying for finals ("but I've got the radio in my room!"), and all the Australians not sleeping. Today they had emails from some poor kid named Lawrence in either Sydney or Melbourne for whom it was 3:45 in the morning - Lawrence had a track meet at 8:30 a.m. the next day, but he wrote "I can't sleep until Roger wins!" Dear Lawrence: I hope you woke up for your run.
June 3: [Later] Dead Cert Man loses almost everything. He ends up with a "consolation prize" of £41,000 (US $67,305).
Title of the post is from Marilyn Manson's "The Dope Show," which is a classic (?) song about fame and celebrity and therefore applies to athletics and sports coverage: "They love you when you're on all the covers. When you're not, then they love another." If you would like to see the video (warning! strange imagery! but not as bad as an Aphex Twin or Tool video), press play below:
June 2: Dead Cert Man places £120,000 (US $196,992) on Djokovic to beat #3 Roger Federer in the semifinals of the French Open. It is Dead Cert Man's biggest wager yet. Because the odds are so narrow, he'd only pull in £40,000 if he's right, but that would still take his winnings to £227,000 (US $372,643). Lots of money, right? And he's drawn out none of it. He wants to buy a house, you see. William Hill representative says "I can't recall another tennis bet of this size." Incidentally, Djokovic's win streak is now at a whopping 43. His 41-win streak since the beginning of the year is just one short of McEnroe's record for the best start to a tennis player's year, ever. So Dead Cert Man is on a 26 win run, and Djokovic is on a 43 win run. Not only that! But Djokovic would become #1 in the world for the first time if he won! No one - no one! - expects Djokovic to lose. Especially not to "No Country For Old Men" Federer.
June 3: Roger Federer says:
And wins.
This match took up my entire "working" afternoon, by the way. When I was little, and my allegiance was with Andre Agassi, I once drew up a chart that I planned to use to figure out whether Agassi played better in matches when I was watching vs. not watching. I was going to conduct an experiment wherein I would watch for 5 minutes, not watch for 5 minutes, and see if it made a difference. Yes, I was insane even as a child. I didn't actually carry this experiment out, by the way, so we will never know...
I was listening to Radio Roland Garros and aside from their hilarious, mile-a-minute commentary (they basically sound like soccer commentators, which is nuts, especially considering tennis cannot be narrated, especially to people like me who actually have to think about what "crosscourt forehand" means), one of the wonderful things about Radio Roland Garros is when they read emails/Tweets from fans all over the world. You get to hear about all the North Americans pretending they're on "conference calls" while at work (one lady wrote "I've been on a conference call for 2 weeks straight," the length of the tournament), all the Indian kids pretending they're studying for finals ("but I've got the radio in my room!"), and all the Australians not sleeping. Today they had emails from some poor kid named Lawrence in either Sydney or Melbourne for whom it was 3:45 in the morning - Lawrence had a track meet at 8:30 a.m. the next day, but he wrote "I can't sleep until Roger wins!" Dear Lawrence: I hope you woke up for your run.
June 3: [Later] Dead Cert Man loses almost everything. He ends up with a "consolation prize" of £41,000 (US $67,305).
Title of the post is from Marilyn Manson's "The Dope Show," which is a classic (?) song about fame and celebrity and therefore applies to athletics and sports coverage: "They love you when you're on all the covers. When you're not, then they love another." If you would like to see the video (warning! strange imagery! but not as bad as an Aphex Twin or Tool video), press play below:
