piles and piles of black friends

Heard about this from Kissing Suzy Kolber, of all places:

A white Louisiana justice of the peace said he refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple out of concern for any children the couple might have.

Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, says it is his experience that most interracial marriages do not last long.

"I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way," Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. "I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else."

Bardwell said he asks everyone who calls about marriage if they are a mixed race couple. If they are, he does not marry them, he said.

Bardwell said he has discussed the topic with blacks and whites, along with witnessing some interracial marriages. He came to the conclusion that most of black society does not readily accept offspring of such relationships, and neither does white society, he said.

"There is a problem with both groups accepting a child from such a marriage," Bardwell said. "I think those children suffer and I won't help put them through it."

If he did an interracial marriage for one couple, he must do the same for all, he said.

"I try to treat everyone equally," he said.

You heard the man!  You let one interracial marriage go through soon they're all gonna want an interracial marriage!  He's just tryin' to protect the little halfbreeds from being born!

However, after one week, they had exhausted the island's natural resources.

So I'm looking up cannibalism, as usual, and stumbled upon this gem from wikipedia:

When the whaleship Essex was rammed and sunk by a whale in 1820, the captain opted to sail 3000 miles upwind to Chile rather than 1400 miles downwind to the Marquesas because he had heard the Marquesans were cannibals. Ironically many of the survivors of the shipwreck resorted to cannibalism in order to survive.

The Hits Keep Coming: The abnormally large whale that attacked the Essex "did so while the men were pursuing and killing other members of the whale's pod."

Return of The Hits: Instead of the Marquesas, the captain wanted to try to sail to the Society Islands, "which were further away but were presumed to be safer."

Sometimes The Hits Come Back... Again: The captain survived (by eating his seventeen-year-old cousin, "whom he had sworn to protect"), returned to Nantucket, and was given command of another whaleship, which ran into rocks near Hawaii and sank (again, he survived).  "This ended Pollard's whaling career."