this is the only picture of me you'll ever get on livejournal.

yes, I am in a nuclear reactor.
( snowball, did you piddle? )

Guy at National Portrait Gallery (NPG):  And here we have Lance Armstrong... you don't know who that is?
Colbert:  No.
Guy at NPG:  He's one of the most extraordinary Americans, sportsheroes, returned from cancer...
Colbert:  Oh, oh, oh!  I know who that is.  He is dating Ashley Olsen.

Me:  What's guarana?
My mom:  Guarana? 
Me:  Yeah, it's in my vitaminwater.
My mom:  I don't know.
[4 hours later]
Anti-Energy Drink Ad for Energy Pills: Guarana?  Three times as much caffeine as coffee!  Tsk tsk!
Me:  Ah, crap.