one little frolic with new Zaz carbolic, you're scented, you'll be sent

[Guy gives Girl a present.  Girl unwraps it.]
Girl:  Shakespeare's Sonnets.
Guy:  Yeah, I know you like to read, and I was talking to the woman at the bookstore, told her a little bit about you, she said you might like this.  If you don't, I mean, I can return it.
Girl:  No... I love it.
Guy:  There's a card inside.
Girl:  "... to the closest thing to a little sister I'll ever have."  [slams book and card at him]  I'm not a little girl.  I'm a woman!  [walks away]
- Days of Our Lives

Tempest Valley's latest "issue":

Tempest Valley's TV soaps--famous around the region--have come under fire for their lack of ethnic diversity.

1. "Every night my family and I sit down to watch 'The Brash and the Backstabbing'," says Stephanie Licorish. "But where are the Liliputians like myself? Where are the Bigtopians? The Marche Noirians? People from those cultures can be just as brash and backstabbing, but we never see them on the screen. The government must act to remove this silent apartheid from our TV screens."
   
   
2. "Those Liliputians don't know how good they have it," says Beth Frederickson, spokesperson for the Tasmanians Against Ethnic Stereotyping. "Tasmanians are on television all the time, but always in crude, stereotypical roles. The answer is not to enforce ethnic quotas, but to award government prizes for the positive portrayal of minorities. That'll work better, and be cheaper, too."
   
   
3. "The government should do what now?" says TV studio executive Tobias Wong. "You've got to be kidding. We make soaps here, not documentaries. I should be able to put whichever characters I want into my shows. Quotas! Government prizes! God save me! Hasn't the government got anything better to do? Why don't they just back off and let society work out these things on its own?"

I dismissed it.

I did, however, type this:

Callahan, in analyzing vote-buying in Thailand, blames the phenomenon on the government's failure to provide sufficient social services, especially for the rural poor, who often become the targets of vote-buying because they suffer the highest emotional vulnerability.

There's a problem in that sentence.