LOTR + Billboard

These are the results of an impromptu experiment of listening to the last decade's top 100 billboard hits while watching Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.  Sometimes it worked, but more often, it was bad.  Let's just say that it's not going to replace Pink Floyd and the Wizard of Oz anytime soon.

* Frodo, Sam, and Gollum being miserable: "Vermilion" by Slipknot (not really Billboard, but... whatever, it's what I started with)


So fragile, yet so devious
She continues to see



Grade:  B-

* Aragorn talking to Eowyn about the Evenstar, Aragorn's dream with Arwen:  "I Need You" by Leann Rimes


I need you, like water, like breath, like rain
I need you like mercy from heaven's gates






There's a freedom in your arms
Carries me through, I need you



Grade:  B+

* Arwen waking up Aragorn through 'psychic' means after he falls off the cliff:  "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem

Feminist women love Eminem,
Chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walking around, grabbing his you know what
Flippin' the you know who
Yeah, but he's so cute though

Grade:  C

* Galadriel and Elrond discussing whether or not to help Middle Earth:  "Crash and Burn" by Savage Garden (this one gets props because Galadriel's beautiful blue eyes fit really well with the sort of angelic feel of the song)


I know that you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore


Grade: A

* Getting ready for the battle of Helm's Deep: "Allstar" by Smashmouth

Hey now, you're an all-star
Get your game on, go play
Hey now, you're a rockstar
Get your show on, get paid


Grade: B+

* Merry and Pippin arguing with Treebeard and his council of Ents: "Unpretty" by TLC

You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the makeup that MAC can make
But if... you can't look inside you, find out who am I to
Be in the position to make me feel so damn unpretty

Grade: C-

Top WTF award goes to this combination, however: the Helm's Deep scene with Aragorn tossing Gimli to "Can I Get A..." by Jay-Z.  I'm not sure about LOTR with rap.  It's pushing it.

Can I get a "fuck you"
to these bitches from all my niggas
who don't love hoes, they get no dough





Can I get a "woop woop"
to these niggas from all my bitches
who don't got love for niggas without dubs?





Now can you bounce wit me
Bounce wit me, bounce wit me
Can ya can ya can ya bounce wit me?




Grade: A (for humor)