YES YOU CAN YOU MUST BE PERFECT. haha. but seriously, like, steve gave me advice that, you know, i seem to be a lot like him, and he sucked at school the first two and a half years, but then he decided he needed to go to a good grad school, and so he changed everything based on that decision and was an A student and didn't drink anymore and so on, or...whatever he did. and sometimes i do do things like that. like when i decided suddenly that i needed to get into second year chinese, and i needed to take first year over the summer, and i just showed up there and figured everything out with registration and my parents or whatnot. i have it in me, but it's so much to do with my state of mind. and here especially, i think, i have the tendency to not make things 'my decision' anymore, and start trying to please people, and worry that i'm not good enough, so it's not so simple... it could be. almost. but i'm just in the perfect situation to fuck it up. anyway, i don't have time to fuck up. it's my senior year. but i already gave myself a pep talk, drank some orange juice (vitamin C does wonders for my mood when i'm sleep-deprived), slept. so i think i'm doing better now. as long as i go DO the work, lol.