Well, okay, fine, I'm not calm now. Happy? It really, really makes me unbelievably sad and frustrated to see you react this way and try to respect it, because, let's face it, I can't.
I am not saying that you are irrational, and in making this about race and me a hegemon you are refusing to see that this is fundamentally a disagreement between two individuals, and you are refusing to see your own insults as effective and having the same basis in power as my own. You could. You could say, "I'm sorry I insulted you." Then at least you would admit that you possessed the power to do such a thing. I admit you do. I admit you can offend me, and that you in fact have. If you place so little value on my own friendship, and my own integrity, well, that hurts. Does that make you happy? Does it make you happy to make me cry? And I have admitted countless times that you are, or are at least able to be, both rational and highly intelligent. That's not what this is about.
Also, this--this that you wrote here--is HUGELY condescending. As if I could not have my own opinions or at all respect you merely because I am white. As if you understand all of this, and I will remain, can only remain, in ignorance for the rest of my life because I have no real experience. As if I am not at all capable of ever being your equal.
What I see is this: I see you being insecure about your own position, I see you therefore interpreting things I say as being intended to insult and condescend to you when they never were because of that, and I see you becoming angry because of these insults that exist more for you than for me. I do the same thing talking to Steve. It's not about race, it's about power, and I don't know why you're giving it to me when you could just as easily treat yourself with the same respect any decent human being would, when you could just as easily see the real power you have to both win this argument and deeply hurt me.
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Date: 2008-05-26 12:49 am (UTC)I am not saying that you are irrational, and in making this about race and me a hegemon you are refusing to see that this is fundamentally a disagreement between two individuals, and you are refusing to see your own insults as effective and having the same basis in power as my own. You could. You could say, "I'm sorry I insulted you." Then at least you would admit that you possessed the power to do such a thing. I admit you do. I admit you can offend me, and that you in fact have. If you place so little value on my own friendship, and my own integrity, well, that hurts. Does that make you happy? Does it make you happy to make me cry? And I have admitted countless times that you are, or are at least able to be, both rational and highly intelligent. That's not what this is about.
Also, this--this that you wrote here--is HUGELY condescending. As if I could not have my own opinions or at all respect you merely because I am white. As if you understand all of this, and I will remain, can only remain, in ignorance for the rest of my life because I have no real experience. As if I am not at all capable of ever being your equal.
What I see is this: I see you being insecure about your own position, I see you therefore interpreting things I say as being intended to insult and condescend to you when they never were because of that, and I see you becoming angry because of these insults that exist more for you than for me. I do the same thing talking to Steve. It's not about race, it's about power, and I don't know why you're giving it to me when you could just as easily treat yourself with the same respect any decent human being would, when you could just as easily see the real power you have to both win this argument and deeply hurt me.