a sense of joy and then a panic

and considering my attachment to peirce, bourdieu, and bateson, I should probably even say that most of our decisions are not so rational. or that our thinking of what a decision is is flawed, and we do not actually make decisions in the manner we think of them when we analyze the considerations they must take into account. that we are in fact capable of taking those considerations into account through habit, through past experience, through learning. but also that we're capable of reflecting on them rationally, of rationalizing them.