I'm sure Reed and college have a lot to do with it... if anything, as triggers. But part of therapy (hell, part of life) is teaching yourself new and effective coping techniques for dealing with those things that cause you stress, fear, problems. I understand not wanting to go on medication, but please consider therapy outside Reed. Also, everyone has problems. I think it's better that we deal with them now rather than when we've pushed them down in denial and they only come out in bursts in our 40s, which is what a lot of people do.

It's really the only advice I can give you besides my personal encouragement. I really do think you're a brilliant person and you are way too hard on yourself considering how talented and intelligent you are. Please don't drop out of college, it would be such a waste.