hmm, i certainly match a lot of symptoms, but then, I've always been somewhat like this, and also, this year it is much, much more up-and-down whereas last year I was suck in it almost all the time. also, i sleep more (thank god), but not as much a freshman year (also a good thing). it's weird to think about yourself as being depressed when it's like the only existence you've known, though? I mean, I am only like this in the presence of a lot of schoolwork and/or emotional/romantic/sexuality-defining stresses. or maybe not...no, you're right, it is different. maybe. 'cause i got like this in terms of procrastination and stress still in high school, but I don't think i felt the same way about the stress...well, yeah, that makes sense. I wasn't a 'failure' then. i was going to go to college! and now i'm here, and i don't fit in, don't succeed...the bottom is so much closer (dropping out), I'm following my own path and not my parents' anymore. i don't know.
it's not that i don't believe in therapy, but unfortunately the free therapy here sucks beyond belief. Most of them are interns, and "In short: they don't ask the right questions, they don't offer analysis or helpful suggestions, they don't act like they care, and interaction is generally impersonal and shallow."
(steve: Yeah, a lot of people have complaints, and, from what I've heard, they seem pretty well-founded. I'm sorry about that. I wish I could have some influence, but (esp. because of my status as a Visitor), I really can't. Ugh,)
Medication is more of an issue for me. I'm not 100% in-all-situations opposed to it, but I have a few hang-ups because I don't like to be dependent on things (esp. drugs, even caffeine, which I currently am...), plus some of them are rather ill-prescribed or have undesirable side effects and etc. Basically, I don't trust them very much. I would probably have to be rather desperate before i'd consider it...
Thank you so much for the rest of what you said, though. You have no idea how much it means to me that you would say that...
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Date: 2007-11-21 12:32 pm (UTC)it's not that i don't believe in therapy, but unfortunately the free therapy here sucks beyond belief. Most of them are interns, and "In short: they don't ask the right questions, they don't offer analysis or helpful suggestions, they don't act like they care, and interaction is generally impersonal and shallow."
(steve: Yeah, a lot of people have complaints, and, from what I've heard, they seem pretty well-founded. I'm sorry about that. I wish I could have some influence, but (esp. because of my status as a Visitor), I really can't. Ugh,)
Medication is more of an issue for me. I'm not 100% in-all-situations opposed to it, but I have a few hang-ups because I don't like to be dependent on things (esp. drugs, even caffeine, which I currently am...), plus some of them are rather ill-prescribed or have undesirable side effects and etc. Basically, I don't trust them very much. I would probably have to be rather desperate before i'd consider it...
Thank you so much for the rest of what you said, though. You have no idea how much it means to me that you would say that...